#but its never about that. or rather: when you read the novel you get the feel that jgy is wearing a smiling mask almost

[swanimagines]

Hello! So I've been reading a lot of your works *cough* mainly Kaz and Pin *cough* and I was wondering if I could request one? If so, A6 from your dialogue prompt list with Kaz Brekker. Have a great day <3

Prompt: A6. “Ugh, people are so weird.”

A/N: I still can't look at him without remembering I actually have HUGGED that man and I get to do it once more in two months I-

RUMOUR TOLD ME

Ketterdam, in its darkness and grimness, was the last place Kaz would expect to find someone like you. You, a cheery, warm person who believed all people were good unless proven otherwise. And even working with the Dregs hadn’t wiped that attitude off you, which had always puzzled Kaz. And maybe it was the way you always saw the good in everyone was what made him develop feelings for you. Or rather, as he convinced himself, he was maybe slightly interested, but not necessarily romantically.

Either way, he treated you like he had always treated you, as another Crow, and he thought everyone else thought so too. And maybe that’s why it was so shocking when you came to the Slat one day, laughing as you slid to sit at the bar counter, one stool away from Kaz.

He stared at you for a moment, and you locked eyes with him. “I just heard the funniest thing.”

“Can’t wait to hear it,” Kaz mumbled, glancing at the barkeeper who immediately started preparing a drink for him.

“There’s a rumour circling around that Kaz Brekker has a crush,” you snickered, and Kaz immediately froze. “And the crush being me. Ugh, people are so weird.”

A short silence descended upon you, and your giggling echoed in Kaz’s mind.

He closed his eyes for a moment. Get it together, Brekker.

“And you find it funny?” Kaz grumbled, which earned a frown from you.

“Well, we are complete opposites. I mean, I guess people who sent this rumour going are probably avid romance novel readers whose favourite trope is ‘opposites attract’ but I have no idea what kind of drink they took to get themselves so drunk that they spun out this kind of theory.” You shrugged, gesturing to the barkeeper to prepare a drink for you too.

Kaz scowled. “Those kinds of rumours should be cut off before they have a chance to fly.”

You laughed. “Oh come on Kaz, it’s just some children spinning stories for their entertainment, it won’t hurt anyone.”

Kaz almost barked at you, telling you that children of Ketterdam should know better than joke with things like that before someone teaches them what it’s like to lose the fun in their life forever, but he held himself back. His mind momentarily filled with pictures of what could happen if the wrong kind of people found out about that rumour and believed it. You’d disappear and eventually come back to the Slat, carried by Matthias, with a knife in your heart, your body already cold, eyes open, beginning to rotten, your mouth opened in an eternal scream–

Kaz shook his head, forcing himself to stop thinking about that scenario. 

“Rumours are dangerous,” he said, leaning towards you slightly. “Even ridiculous ones.”

You scoffed, waving your hand. “I know, but no one is going to believe something like that.”

Kaz withdrew, taking his cane and gripping the silver crow head. He wanted to tell you you’re off duty for a while. He wanted to claim he needed help in office work, which would bind you into Slat for a few weeks. He wanted to find whoever is spreading this rumour and warn them off, threaten them. Maybe even break their legs to ensure they won’t sing about it.

But even if that would work, and Kaz knew it would, it could be a sign that the rumour actually had truth to it. It would make him look weak, even if that person would never tell about his visit.

You got the drink and downed it, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, before you looked at Kaz again. “Do you have any tasks for me? If not, Inej said she’d like to have company when she goes to run an errand but if you have something more important to do, I’ll pass on that.”

Kaz clenched his jaw, staring at his still full glass of kvas. “No.” Be careful.

You nodded and disappeared to the crowd, and Kaz told himself to not look at you walking away. And as soon as your steps faded, he downed the drink and stood up, making his way to the attic. He needed to take his mind off of… this, whatever it was.

But of course, on his way, he came across Jesper waiting by Wylan’s door, spinning his other revolver. Kaz already saw from Jesper’s grin what he was going to say, that he had also heard the rumours. “Hey, Boss. Word is you’ve got a crush on our Sunshine the Second.”

Kaz cocked an eyebrow at him. “What makes you think that?”

Jesper stopped spinning his revolver and shrugged. “Well. It’s been obvious for all of us for a while. I suspected it, so I told Nina, and she listened to your heartbeat while our star Sunshine was around, and–”

“And nothing,” Kaz barked. “Whatever you have heard or understood, is not true.”

Jesper cackled, and Kaz wanted nothing more than to stuff the handle of Jesper’s beloved revolver into his throat at that moment. But it was more because he realised everyone knew. His Crows, at least, knew.

When Jesper stopped cackling, his tone was more serious. “But hey, I understand that this… thing isn’t a good thing to be circling around. If you want some of us to go uh, find out who put the rumour to circle in the first place, just tell us.” He winked. “And of course, no telling your beloved.”

Kaz thought, staring at Jesper. He wanted to keep denying it, tell Jesper everyone are idiots, doubt Nina’s skills as a heartrender. But he knew that nothing would work anymore, everything would just confirm their every suspicion, those that were true and those that were not true.

So he nodded. “Deal with it. Quietly.”

Jesper nodded in return. “Always, boss.”

And when Kaz continued ascending the steps, he could almost hear Jesper’s grin. If there had been some doubt in Jesper’s mind, now there most definitely wasn’t.

Kaz knew that his Crows knowing except for you was miles better than the whole Ketterdam knowing. If everyone knew, or if such suspicions would rise to any extent, they would inevitably eventually go straight to rivaling gangs. And at that point, depending on how stupid they were, they could follow the rumour just in case and ambush you.

They would be stupid because if you were killed by a gang, Kaz wouldn’t rest before each one’s guts had painted every wall of their past territory, but they would also be smart because they’d take away the one thing Kaz truly cared about in this world, and it would be the second time around. Kaz wasn’t sure if he would ever recover, which would potentially make him weak in a way, maybe even suicidal with his hunger for bloodshed. He could be the most feared person in all of Kerch for a few weeks, but constantly throwing himself in situations he could get killed would eventually kill him. It could even be his goal, to die fighting and take as many of his enemies with him before that.

But after those little gossipers would be getting caught and warned off, things would maybe become better, and Kaz would be able to forget about this whole mess.

---

Requests are open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[gingermintpepper]

Absolutely the funniest thing about my current corner of tumblr is that pretty much everyone I've recently followed for Apollo-Appreciating Purposes are either genuinely Hellenist or just rather very into Rick Riordan's Trials of Apollo series which is wild because I know a net zero about both of those things.

[chrollogy]

SECONDS AWAY FROM INSANITY

— chrollo lucilfer x f!reader

syn: Cockwarming Chrollo, ‘nuff said.

18+ MDNI; explicit smut, porn without plot, cockwarming, unprotected sex, creampie, chrollo reads while reader cockwarms him, pet names (baby) not beta read.

word count: 2.1k

notes: divider: cafekitsune. purely self indulgent >< if you’re seeing this no you’re not .

A few seconds away from insanity, that’s what you felt right this very moment.

At this point, it almost felt like an unspoken punishment—the way pleasure continuously flowed from your core, extending all the way to the tips of your digits, resulting in an irritating tingle of what could have been.

The feeling of pure bliss engulfed your body like it always did but it was still, and unmoving, mirroring a dead lake with no wind to ripple even the tiniest waves; it was faint like a butterfly’s kiss, enough to have your heart racing with thrill yet not enough to quench an insatiable thirst given by none other than your lover.

Instead, your ears were met with three things. One, the maddening ticking of the wall clock, tick, tick, tick it went as each second passed, painfully reminding you of the amount of time wasted without raw pleasure.

Two, the vexing sound of a page turning every now, and then, a clear indication of how occupied Chrollo was with the book neatly tucked in his hand. Your legs ached with time, muscles stiff from having held this position for over an hour or so, you weren’t given much movement freedom as well with your legs on either side of Chrollo’s waist, neatly folded over itself atop the leather couch—the fabric felt like a searing blaze against your soft skin.

Three, the ghostly kisses of Chrollo’s calm breaths down the column of your neck, leaving goosebumps in its wake—it served as a slap across the face, a nasty fact that he was, in fact, not bothered about the way your cunt clenched, and unclenched around his cock every so often. Not even a slight stutter in his breathing pattern.

Tsk. How annoying.

Chrollo promised you’d cockwarm him until the book bored him, and only then he would take action. But that was the thing, the promise was as good as empty as soon as those words came out of his mouth because Chrollo never gets bored of a novel.

You let out a huff of annoyance—an obvious one at that—adjusting your clothed body with the little freedom from the position, resulting in a low squelch from where you, and Chrollo connected, followed by a small mewl that slipped past your lips. The feel of his tip gently grazing your sweet spot ignited the dormant pleasure in your body, like a surge of electricity bringing you back from the dead but it left as quickly as it happened.

And then . . nothing, again.

Leaning your chest against his own, you rested your chin on his shoulder, digits digging onto the fabric of his shirt as the feeling slowly dissipated into thin air. Though, this elicited a humourless chuckle from Chrollo, paired with a free hand coming up to soothingly rub your back, up, and down, up, and down his hand went—oh, but you’d rather move something else up, and down right this very moment.

Five minutes.

It took Chrollo Lucilfer exactly five more minutes to finally put that goddamn book aside after placing a chaste kiss on your hair. He leaned back into the sofa, the leather fabric groaning beneath his weight; one hand rested on your hip while the other cupped your left cheek.

“You’re doing so well for me, hm?” Chrollo’s velvety voice broke the deafening silence. He caressed your face with his thumb, and you didn’t hesitate to lean into the heart of his palm like a feline yearning to be petted. 

“Chrollo . .” “It’s okay. You have me, now.”

He sucked in a breath. Chrollo was never immune to your begging, especially when you looked like that—forehead creased, the corners of your lips downturned in a small pout, and your eyes glimmering with pure want. With a bated breath, you awaited his next move, patiently perched on his lap with his cock fully sheathed inside.

Steely eyes traced over your features before settling for your lips. Chrollo brought his thumb to your bottom lip, following its curvature, and gently pulling it down before capturing you in a kiss.

As always, it was sensual. Soft lips delicately moved against your own, a slow pace to relish the sweet taste of you. That’s what you loved about Chrollo, no matter how desperately he yearned for you, complete control over his carnal desires were his top priority—even if impatience gnawed at his very bones, and your body was the only way to quench such thirsts, he’d still handle you like the most delicate flower of all.

As if on cue, you rocked your hips back, and forth—a sinful rhythm to elicit a deep groan from his chest. Soft, wet smacks of yours, and Chrollo’s lips filled your ears, low moans here, and there ignited your dormant desire once more but this time, there was no stopping.

Chrollo’s big hands roamed your body—from tenderly massaging your chest over the fabric of your top, all the way to sensually rubbing his palms up, and down your back.

He slowly pulled away from the kiss, crimson-faced, chest heaving, and the sexiest lustful expression plastered on his handsome face. One hand rested on your waist while the other hung over the backrest as he leaned further into the sofa. All it took was for Chrollo to give you a singular look before you finally lifted your hips.

Your leg muscles screamed, and burned at the movement, having held onto this folded position for quite some time but you didn’t care, not when the opportunity to chase after pleasure was served on a silver platter. A unison of drawn out moans filled the air as your hips moved up, and down his hard cock—lifting yourself all the way until the tip remained before languidly lowering all the way to the base with balls flush against your ass.

The raven-haired man beneath you slowly threw his head back at the feeling of your velvety walls—the way it wrapped around him oh-so-sinfully—exposing the length of his neck, Adam’s apple on full display as it bobbed with every low groan Chrollo let out. You felt so warm, so soft, and the way your sopping cunt greedily sucked him in every single time without fail—oh, you’d be the death of him.

It didn’t take long for Chrollo to look at you once again. With a hooded gaze, he stared through his lashes, drinking in each bounce of your sinful hips. He bit his lip, the hand planted on your waist groped you through the fabric of your top before deftly sliding it under to tease your breasts. Swiftly yanking down your bra, Chrollo’s digits focused on your hardened nipple by gently rolling, and pinching it, eliciting a breathy moan of his name.

It was as though the tips of his fingers had sent a wave of electricity throughout your body from the way you flinched at his teasing touch. A string of low, colourful curses left Chrollo’s rosy lips as you clenched around his cock, resulting in him involuntarily thrusting up to meet the fall of your hips, prodding the tip deeper into your wet cunt.

“Fuck—Chrollo!” Every muscle in your body stiffened as a shock of pleasure shot up your spine. Warmth slowly crept up from your chest, all the way to your cheeks, and behind your eyes where tears slowly started to form.

Another eager thrust of Chrollo’s hips had you curling over yourself, shamelessly moaning his name out yet again as the tip kissed that sweet, sweet spot. It had your eyes rolling back, face met with the fabric of his clothes as your sweaty forehead rested on his chest. Chrollo’s intoxicating perfume laced you into insanity, its sweet yet musky aroma beckoned you to follow a sweet release.

With the burn of your legs finally catching up to you, your body laid limp against Chrollo, the eager bounce of your hips coming to a complete halt, and so did the rising pleasure—all that hard work of yours slowly but surely coming down, down, down back to square one.

“Bounce your hips for me, baby? You were doing so well.” Chrollo breathlessly purred, hand coming up to comb through your hair as he placed a chaste kiss on the crown of your head. A small smile formed as he felt your cunt clench around him—Chrollo knew how to push your buttons, he knew which words you wanted to hear during times like this but that didn’t mean they weren’t insincere. 

Despite your muscles practically giving up, you peeled yourself from Chrollo’s chest, and resumed the hasty pace you had set earlier. The searing blaze in your legs was quickly forgotten as Chrollo resumed thrusting his hips up in time with your own, repeatedly hitting your g-spot. A sinful symphony of skin met with skin filled the room once again but this time, with more drive, with much more desperation from both of you.

You could tell Chrollo was slowly losing his cool from the way his lips remained parted to let out heated gasps with some in the form of your name—his lust-filled stare, and ruby red cheeks were also a clear sign of the lack of grip on his own sanity, not to mention how both hands were now firmly planted on your hips, determined to bring you both to an orgasm.

His name left your lips like a whispered prayer, allowing him to bask in your dulcet voice; Chrollo let it wrap around his body, and pull him into the depths of your serene rawness. And that was all it took for him to set the soles of his feet flat on the ground, using the wooden floor as leverage to rapidly thrust his hips upwards. Your own movement ceased beneath Chrollo’s iron grip, instead, he was the one that led this intimate dance.

Heavy balls slapped against your ass with each relentless thrust, it left a sweet burning sensation, adding on top of the immense pleasure you were currently under. All you could do was sit there, and take every ounce of ecstasy Chrollo generously gave you—sit there, and curl your digits around the expensive fabric of his ivory button down until your knuckles turned the same colour.

Once again, you curled over as the feeling of pure bliss rendered your whole body immobile—the merciless drive of his hips bringing out a fresh set of tears every time. 

The poor sofa groaned, and moaned beneath the weight of Chrollo’s thrusts; it was laughable how he was the exact opposite earlier, completely unbothered by the tightness of your cunt—at how it practically drooled for his cock—nose buried into that goddamn novel, absolutely unfazed. Now, Chrollo was the one tirelessly chasing an orgasm, using your wet cunt as he pleased.

His steely eyes dipped to where you two met, a broken curse leaving his lips at the lewd sight of a translucent white ring forming at the base of his hard cock. It didn’t help how your cunt equally sounded as lewd as it looked, shamelessly squelching with each movement. 

Fuck, he was close—Chrollo could already feel his balls tightening, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“I’m so close—fuck! Cum with me, yeah?” He panted. A wanton moan, and a vigorous nod was all you could muster in response but Chrollo didn’t need anything more than that to bring you to your orgasm.

With a few more deep strokes, the coil inside your stomach violently snapped, sending your back in an uncomfortable arch as your cunt gushed around his cock. You let out a broken moan of his name, hot tears rolling down your wet cheeks but Chrollo didn’t stop there, not until his own high came to him.

Though, he wasn’t far off with the way your cunt gripped him like a vice. Chrollo sheathed his cock all the way inside before releasing his thick cum to paint your walls white; a loud, shameless moan slipped past his lips, handsome face contorted in pure bliss as waves of pleasure violently rocked his limp body.

“Kiss me.” Chrollo breathed out before desperately cupping your jaw with both hands, and pulling you closer to seal your lips together; you groaned into the kiss as he rode out both your orgasms with shallow thrusts.

This time, the kiss was more passionate, a blazing blue fire from the depths of his heart. He angled his face to further press into you, lips moving with such haste you almost couldn’t keep up. Chrollo devoured your lips like a starved madman—it was messy, filthy, and loud but you loved every second of it. —

affiliated with @houseofsolisoccasum & @pixelcafe-network !

[explorevenus]

doll parts ♡ leon kennedy x f!reader

nsfw (18+) - minors dni or i will call ur mom. and also the cops

word count: 3.6k

description: leon may not take the best care of himself, but he certainly takes care of you. it's his favorite pastime.

tags/warnings: vendetta leon, established relationship, unhealthy relationship dynamics, dollification, daddy kink, oral sex (f receiving), mirror sex

a/n: this piece was commissioned by my lovely bestie @dollfacefantasy, who knows me so well in that she knew i was foaming at the mouth for an excuse to write dollification w leon >:3 AND it's based off of that one scene in euphoria where nate dresses cassie up LIKE GET OUTTA TOWNNNNN I WAS SO JUICED TO WRITE THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!

my masterlist ♡

my ao3 ♡

fic under the cut, thanks so much for reading and i hope u enjoy ;w;

-venus ♡

You were mad. You were so mad, all the time lately, and you were past the point of wondering if you had any right to be. 

It was late, nearly half past midnight, the only sound in the dim house being the unrelenting patter of fat raindrops on the windows. Leon, too, was late, like he so often was. Of course, you weren’t allowed to complain or ask questions about his high paying job, or his whereabouts, or the secrecy, where all those injuries came from or why he didn’t return when he said he would for the hundredth time.

All your life, you thought relationships like this existed only in fiction, the trope of the distant workaholic who dismisses his partner’s concerns with nothing but his wallet and his sexual prowess, piling diamond encrusted bandages upon months worth of neglect, bottled up grievances and novels left unsaid. It was a concept confined to old movies and paperbound romances as far as you were concerned, before you met Leon.

You weren’t unreasonable, and you weren’t dumb. You had gathered that his mysterious government job really was important and strictly confidential, and you trusted that he was telling you as much of the truth as was permitted by the powers that be. You knew he cared about you, you knew he would rather be home with you than running around at the beck and call of the most powerful people in the country. You knew it was never his intention to hurt you.

But your awareness of his love for you didn’t make it any easier to swallow the unending cycle of broken promises, nor the visible deterioration of his mental and physical health while his ‘work trips’ became increasingly frequent until they all started to just blend together. 

You became numb to it after a while. It seemed selfish to demand his time and attention when he couldn’t help his circumstances. Even bringing it up made you feel like a monster, and it was all because you loved him so completely.

And you loved him so completely. You had seen him cry with laughter and sob with grief. You had seen him burn toast, fall asleep with the TV on, forget how to tie a tie, dread a mundane phone call, mumble to himself when he thought no one was listening. You knew his philosophies on life and love and death, you knew him heart and soul, and so too did he know you.

Thus, you just ate it, wore yourself down until you finally accepted that all those bottled up grievances, novels left unsaid and extravagant bribes were worth the privilege of being his lover.

Your eyes felt dry as you stared at the clock, counting in your tired mind exactly how many hours had passed since he was supposed to be home. It had been a long, rough day that would have been draining enough on its own, but the evening proved to disappoint even further. 

Leon heard about the karmic disaster that was your day through a handful of rant texts you’d sent over the course of it, each one more unfortunate than the last. Sympathetic to your senseless string of rotten luck, he promised to cut away from work an hour early to return home to you with your favorite dinner and enough doting on to make your teeth rot. He did not, of course, come home early, and not only that, but he didn’t come home at all, and you couldn’t get ahold of him.

If this wasn’t such a frequent occurrence, you might have been more worried about his safety, or even more angry at him for leaving you hanging on a day like this one, but you had become so familiar with this whole song and dance that your feelings around it were dulled.

You were just about to give up and go to bed when your phone lit up with a notification. Following the several undelivered texts you tried to send asking if he was okay, he’d given a simple response that you knew would redirect the course of your whole entire night.

Headed home in 15. Be in the dollhouse

You had long since garnered that the dollhouse was more for him than it was for you, even if he seemed to believe it was the other way around. It was nice to be pampered and doted on and styled like a Barbie, until it became a way for him to avoid talking to you about anything important. But that was neither here nor there. Dolls don’t talk, and they most certainly don’t complain.

With a deep, measured breath you exited the bedroom and turned down the hall, to what used to be a spare room but was now more aptly describable as a boudoir. The door creaked open to reveal the delicate, feminine space, heavy satin drapes blocking out any potential prying eyes. Between two solid oak wardrobes was an ornate standing mirror, the walk-in closet to the right overflowing with opulent clothing that hardly ever saw the light of day, just the familiar warmth of Leon’s cerulean eyes. 

At the other end of the room was an antique, three-mirror vanity, stocked carefully with luxury makeup, designer perfumes and every last tool one might need to style your hair, down to a box of satin ribbons in every color with which to tie it back. Leon was never one to do things half-way, and dolling you up was no exception.

Piece by piece, you stripped yourself of your clothes, hands moving as slowly and purposefully as his own would, as if by instinct. Just like a doll would be, you undressed to nothing but a pair of delicate lace panties, and you took your place at the vanity, your posture straight and your hands folded neatly in your lap.

All there was left to do now was wait for Leon, to stare at yourself blankly in the mirror and ruminate, to let your thoughts scream and echo around in your head until it would all collapse into silence, putting you in the proper headspace of an empty-headed little Barbie for Leon to play with.

You didn’t so much as flinch at the sound of the garage door opening, or move a muscle at all at the muffled thudding of his footsteps ascending the stairs. Your lips parted with a slow, deep breath, your posture straightening up one final time before the knob turned, and you watched the door open behind you through the reflection in the mirror.

He looked tired. To be candid, he looked like shit. It was evident he had left immediately from whatever dangerous, world-saving thing he was doing to rush home to you, not taking the time to change or freshen up.

Leon approached you gently, reaching over your shoulder to let his rough fingers cup your neck and throat, tilting your head up just enough to make you look at yourself, and to adjust your posture.

“Such a precious little doll, sitting so pretty for daddy,” He whispered, stooping down to plant a kiss at the crown of your head. His hands smelled like iron and gunpowder, and his breath smelled faintly of malted liquor poorly masked with mint. If only you could have confronted him about it. You just swallowed, staring straight ahead where he was directing your gaze.

Reaching over your shoulder, Leon’s steady hand plucked a detangling brush from the vanity, running his fingers through your hair carefully with his other hand. He felt through the length of your soft locks, mindful as always not to tug at any of the little knots he discovered here and there. Shortly after, he was running the brush through your hair with gentle veneration, delicate, even strokes that nearly threatened to put you to sleep.

Leon watched your expression in the mirror as your lashes fluttered, your head lolling back as if mindlessly chasing the attention. A low chuckle fell from his parted lips. “Feels good, huh? I’ll bet it does. Your hair is so messy, baby… You weren’t playing by yourself all day while daddy was gone, were you?”

He was teasing you. A subtle grin begged to tug at your lips, and you let it. Still, you were sure to shake your head ‘no’-- after all, you couldn’t have him thinking you had taken advantage of his extended absence to be naughty, even if you had been awfully tempted to. 

Carding his fingers through your freshly brushed hair, he hummed in mock consideration for a moment, like he couldn’t decide whether or not he believed you. Finally, he turned you around in your chair to face him, tilting your chin up so he could give you a kiss. “I know my baby would never. Always the perfect princess for me, even when I’m not always the perfect daddy.”

That last part came out a little quieter, like he was ashamed to even say it out loud, but somehow still, it was the loudest part to you. You softened.

He noticed, and he, too, softened. The tension in the air dissipated a bit– it was still somewhere around here, likely waiting right outside the door, but it was no longer actively present, at least. Leon gave you another sweet kiss, this one to your forehead, before gently correcting your posture again.

Pushing your hair back with a soft, fluffy headband, he opened up one of the drawers in the vanity and began to take a few things out. First, a light moisturizer, which he massaged into your skin with a jade roller that was cool to the touch and just as relaxing as always. Your moisturizer was followed by a gentle under-eye balm, a thin layer of primer and a hydrating lip oil.

The way he moved was so fluid, so methodical, like a conductor before an orchestra, and you were his masterpiece. In Leon’s eyes, you might as well have been carved out of the finest, most expensive marble, and you were to be treated no less delicately.

He stepped out just for a moment to wash his hands, a clean slate for the next step of the process, your makeup.

You honestly don’t know how he did it. Judging by some of the techniques and products he would use, you could only guess he must have been doing his research online or something, though where he found the time to do so was another question entirely. His lines weren’t always clean, his blending wasn’t always perfectly smooth, yet somehow you always still felt he’d managed to upstage you with the finished product– perhaps it was because he could see you in a way you couldn’t see yourself.

“Daddy?” You chanced a whisper, but he was quick to press a finger to the plush of your lips, ever so gently.

“Shh… Just sit nice and still for me, alright, sugar?”

You nodded, and he resumed his work with a careful touch.

Soft brushes and plush sponges worked their way around the surface of your face, applying shadow and powders and liner, with Leon holding his breath now and then to ensure a steady hand. Your cheeks were rouged, your lips were glossed, your lashes were carefully curled and it was all topped off with a cooling mist of setting spray and a gentle kiss to the forehead.

“There you are, hm? My beautiful baby dolly,” He mused, reaching forward to tilt your head up by your chin, then to the left, then to the right, checking over his handiwork from every angle. Adding a dash of blush to the tip of your nose, he deemed your makeup complete. “Just perfect.”

Slowly, Leon turned your chair around again, allowing you to look at yourself, and yeah. Wow.

You looked gorgeous, you were glowing even. All of your best features were adorned with purposeful swipes of blush, shade and highlight, your eyes dreamy and sweet, your skin smooth and radiant. He let you look at yourself for a moment, just admiring the expression of awe on you– you were always exceptionally stunning, of course, but you looked all the sweeter in these sacred moments in which you recognized your own beauty.

Leon rested one hand on your shoulder to recapture your attention, his other hand coming forward to stroke your cheek. Your long lashes fluttered as you met his eyes in the mirror, a silent signal that your focus had returned to him. Now the hand that caressed your cheekbone was coming forward to take your own. He helped you up from your seat at the vanity and across the room, to the plush chaise lounge in front of that standing mirror.

The room filled with the quiet noises of rummaging, Leon sifting through drawers and racks of hangers stuffed with what had to have been thousands of dollars worth of designer, a stark contrast to his own attire of largely plain black shirts and jeans that had seen better days.

But you were his princess. Leon was just Leon, and Leon couldn’t possibly deserve as much as a princess.

Turning over his shoulder, Leon approached you with a simple pair of white stockings in hand, sinking to his knees right before the chaise lounge to put them on you. Your ankle looked so slight and delicate in his strong hand as he lifted your leg, drawing a line of kisses up the inside of your calf to follow while he rolled the stocking up higher and higher, until the hem reached just above your knee.

He repeated the action with your other leg, the movement of his hands fluid and practiced, but his breaths were becoming shorter, his kisses a little wetter and needier on your skin. Your own breaths were quickly falling in sync with his own just by watching him dial in on your sex, his calloused hands propping your legs up onto his shoulders so he could shuffle closer.

Gripping you by the hips to angle you up to his liking, he buried his nose into the seat of your thin lace panties and breathed you in deep, as though he were starving for oxygen. The tip of his nose nuzzled forward to brush your panties aside, and just as soon as your slit was bared to him, his tongue was darting out to taste it.

He spread it flat in a slow, languid stripe from your weeping hole all the way to your throbbing clit, his lips closing around the little bundle of nerves to coax it from beneath its hood. You sucked in a breath, your manicured nails printing into the lush material of the furniture you were perched on, trying as hard as you could to keep quiet and still, to allow him to guide you, to play with you as he so desired. Luckily, he wasn’t in too stern of a mood this evening anyway– you weren’t likely to be reprimanded for small errors like that, especially not while he was otherwise occupied.

“Fuck,” He growled lowly into your cunt, leaving white prints where he gripped your pillowy thighs just to ground himself. You could feel his body growing warm as he lost himself in you, lapping up every drop of your arousal with greed. For just a moment, his dilated, denim eyes flicked up to look at you, his rosy cheeks gently squished between your quaking thighs as he puffed out, “Just look at you, my dolly… Daddy’s favorite little toy…”

Your eyes screwed shut with pleasure as his hot mouth met your center again, and when they fluttered open, you caught sight of it all in the mirror. It nearly knocked the wind out of you.

Your dainty legs spread out over your gruff boyfriend’s broad shoulders, adorned in delicate white stockings that looked pure and bright against his tight black t-shirt; his sandy blonde hair damp and messy as he wedged himself between your thighs and drank from you like a fountain; your hair and makeup fit for a gala as your expression contorted with rapture… it could have been an oil painting.

Every swipe of his tongue up the length of you, every flutter along your swollen bud, every deep, wanton, needy groan had your eyes rolling back in your head, your thighs trembling and tightening around his jaw. Every inch of you felt featherlight with electricity as he worked his magic on you, more than capable of making you cum in three minutes flat, but opting not to for the fun of it.

Not that you were complaining. At times he could get carried away in his teasing, but tonight was not one of those nights. Leon wasn’t going to waste your time dangling you over the edge much longer than was strictly necessary. As soon as he noticed you were having trouble sitting still, quiet whines and sighs of pleasure occasionally slipping out from between your glossy lips, he knew it would be unfair to string you along any further.

Leon was practically making out with your folds, the room quiet aside from the slick sounds and lustful whimpers that accompanied his dining of you. Soon it was joined with the low, husky timbre of his voice as he groaned into you, “Gonna cum for me, baby? Gonna make a pretty mess all over daddy’s face?”

In all honesty, you barely registered his words, but all it ever took to get you nodding like a bobblehead was that upward lilt in his tone that indicated he was asking you something. That was all you needed to know that the correct answer was yes.

Smirking briefly to himself as he witnessed your eager and rapt approval, he doubled the intensity of his efforts, his hands wrenching tight into your thighs to pull you flush against his face, but more importantly, to keep you from wriggling away. He didn’t bother to shush you when a shocked yelp bubbled out of you, your body jerking in response to the added stimulation. After all, it was the response he was expecting, and the response he yearned for.

Your shaking hands darted forward to claw at his hair, half-lidded eyes catching your reflection in the mirror once more. Your skin was warm, your breasts heaving as your spine drew into a fine arch and your lips parted to gasp in all the oxygen you could get to your dizzy brain, heels digging into the prominent muscles in his back. He felt every quiver and twitch of your muscles and it only spurred him on. He ate you up like you were his last meal.

Your vision went white as your climax crashed over you hard– the sounds he made were obscene, a satisfied groan vibrating from deep in his chest at the syrupy sweet taste of your arousal. It was an essence he couldn’t possibly get enough of.

As you laid there panting, your legs shaking after the tension in them released, Leon’s eyes dragged up the length of your body with pride. He carefully pulled your panties back into place with a sweet kiss to the bow in the center of them and an affectionate pat to the thigh. 

“There’s a good girl,” He hummed, crawling up from between your legs to kiss you, his mouth still warm and slightly slick with your own spend. “A perfect little doll. All I have to do is pull the right strings to get you to sing for me, huh, princess?”

Once more, you nodded, eyes fluttering shut just for a moment as he kissed your forehead. Then, he stood to his full height again, one hand taking yours and the other steadying you by the dip of your waist as he raised you up to join him, wobbly knees be damned. After all, he wasn’t finished playing dress-up yet. He took a moment to ensure you had regained your balance enough to be able to stand without assistance before opening up one of the wardrobes in search of the remainder of your outfit.

Moments like these only piqued your curiosity in terms of how his brain worked. Sure, you’d been dating for a long time and it was safe to say you knew him quite well, but his penchant for compartmentalization never ceased to astound you. He possessed the sometimes frightening ability to just switch his brain from one mode to the next.

You were brought back to reality once more by the feeling of his lips on your neck. He murmured into your ear, “Arms up, darlin’,” and he barely even finished saying it before you were complying.

You lifted your arms, and he slipped a new dress over your head. There it was, the compensation for being home late, for dropping off the face of the Earth again. The dress was flattering and soft, a delicate blush pink color with embroidered details along the bust and white lace hemming. He drew up the zipper without resistance, and as it reached its apex, the fabric hugged your form perfectly, as though the garment itself was made with you in mind.

Leon kneeled down to straighten out your stockings, and then the skirt of your dress, his eyes scanning over you meticulously in search of any little imperfections that might need fixing. Finding none, he wandered over to where he’d left his jacket, fishing a baby blue box out of the pocket. You had become quite familiar with that blue lately– Tiffany.

Nestled in the slender box was a dainty diamond necklace that now rested right at your collarbones, the clasp in the back secured with a smooch. He carded his fingers through your hair one last time before turning you around to look at yourself in the mirror, his hands rested on your hips, head stooped low to smother the crook of your throat in kisses.

“What do you think?” He whispered in your ear, nibbling gently at the shell.

“Beautiful,” You replied just as quietly, “Thank you, daddy.”

[ohcorny]

so! it's been a year since i put never satisfied on hiatus, and 9 years since i started posting it, and rather than make you read everything if all you want to know is "when's it coming back?" the answer is still: don't know! but the answer has also shifted closer to "it isn't" the longer i've spent on break, and i think it's worth being up front about that.

i talked about it a little here a few weeks ago, but the long and short of it is that between taking on better paying work, writing better stories, and looking back at what i'd already done for never satisfied... i just don't think i want to continue it? the year off has been incredibly good for my mental health, and i can't see myself wanting to go back after the two-three years still ahead of me on my current project. that's not to say i never want to return to the characters or the concept, but if i did, i imagine it would be with something completely new, in a different form. after all, i started this comic when i was 21 years old, a lesbian, and a sophomore in college. i am now just shy of 30, a bi man, and overall a completely different person than i was, back when i was writing without a plan and putting all of my insecurities into the comic--insecurities i don't identify with anymore. lord i'm closer to rothart's age than i am to lucy's. hate that

anyway. you have all been extraordinarily kind for following never satisfied for as long as you have, for supporting it as much as you have, and being as patient as you have. whatever form never satisfied takes in the future (god willing, with a more cohesive story structure and A PLAN FOR THE ENDING, WHICH BY THE WAY I NEVER, EVER HAD) i hope to see you there!

in the meantime, as an update on where i'm at with the thing that made me stop working on NS: i finished it! all the pages for Hunger's Bite (if you remember it with a different title: no you don't) have been turned in and now it's just revisions and covers and then........ waiting a year until it can come out. because that's how it is in traditionally published graphic novels! nothing releases for a full year after you finished it! and you're even getting it earlier than was originally planned, because i'm a creature and finished it like three months ahead of schedule. i've also already started thumbnailing the sequel book which i can't talk about whatsoever and will now be working on that for the next two years and then HOPEFULLY the first book will have done well enough that i can sell a third! so you better buy it when it comes out next february!!!!!!

to ease you all into it, i wanted to do a little crossover to introduce the main characters. we have emery, whose design is fully and unintentionally just Seiji Again down to his color palette (but seiji would bully him if they met. like so hard. he's a wimp). then we have neeta, a girl who dreams of travel and cares deeply about worker's rights, and wick, a vampire agent investigating the mysterious and sinister new owner of the 1910s ocean liner emery and neeta call home. he's also gay. but sorry lucy, you aren't his type. you're not mean enough.

the best place to keep up with me these days is probably here, as this first book gets closer to release, i will probably be posting about it a lot. and i will certainly post about it here when there's an official release date and cover reveal! i hope you'll go read it. i really think if you liked never satisfied and its themes, you'll like hunger's bite!

thank you again for reading!!

[missaengg]

Indecently Dreaming Of You

Day 11 of Kinktober: Visions of Temptation hosted by @xxsycamore found here Featuring: Ikemen Villains | Jude Jazza x f!reader Tags: mdni, smut, wet dream, sexual fantasy, nipple play, fingering, piv sex, multiple orgasms, some degradation if you squint, pwp Prompts: Wet Dreams/Sexual Fantasy | “Go on, put it in yourself.” ao3 link here.

Crown Castle was surprisingly empty, which was unusual given that a member or two were always lurking about during the day, especially on the weekends – mostly Victor who always seemed to be present or Roger who was always working on some experiment – but today, the large castle was blissfully quiet.

You made your way to the parlor, your latest novel – a torrid romantic fantasy – in hand, one you generally kept hidden in your room, one if any of the castle’s occupants caught you reading would end with you dying of embarrassment.

Today, however, you felt safe reading it in the sunlit window you loved in the parlor as the only occupant in the castle, and with a delighted hum, you entered the peaceful parlor stroking the book in your hands. Last night you had gotten to the part where the tragic hero, a tortured vampire, rescued the damsel in distress, a woman with a heart of gold, and he was finally on the verge of giving in to his passion after pages of thick sexual tension.

“Tch.. can’t ya see I’m readin’ here?”

Shrieking, you jumped, heart pounding furiously in your chest, fumbling to hide your book behind your back. Turning to the speaker, your eyes widened, squeaking in surprise. “Ju–Jude?!”

Because in the very bay window you hoped to occupy sat Jude, nonchalantly draped on the cushion, cigarette in one hand, a dry looking tome of a book in the other propped up by his knees. You gripped the novel in your hands tighter, pressing it closer into the folds of your skirt. When you roamed about the castle earlier, you hadn’t seen a hint of anyone, let alone the languid Crown member in the room.

“If ya got eyes, then ya know to get the hell outta here.” 

Jude didn’t look up from his reading, but you didn’t need to see his face to know he was feeling irritated with your presence. You turned to go, but you hesitated, eyeing the velvet couch in the center of the room. It was late afternoon when the sun was at its most gentle warmest, your room at its most stuffiest, and the couch looked so plush… You snuck a peek at the pre-occupied man who was currently paying you no attention, and wanting nothing more than to sink into the velvet cushions, you strode over to the couch. The parlor was designed to hold multiple occupants and plenty large enough for the both of you to read quietly without acknowledging the other’s presence.

“Oi.”

You looked in Jude’s direction whose amethyst eyes were glaring at you with displeasure.

“Ya deaf? I said get outta here.”

Holding his glare, you defiantly settled yourself on the couch until you were perched against the armrest with your legs stretched out along the couch length. “I’ll read quietly.”

Jude clicked his tongue and sighed, a huffy, impatient sigh, but returned his attention to his boring, complex book.

You exhaled slowly. It wasn’t that Jude scared you, but he was rather imposing, and he had this way of pinning you with his intense glares, much like how you imagined a wolf would pin down a defenseless rabbit. Absolutely certain his attention was most definitely off of you and would remain off of you, you relaxed into the heavenly soft cushions, cracking your book open to where you had left off the night before.

Just as you expected, it was delicious. The male love interest, Silvio, had vowed to never love again after being betrayed by his love in the past, but had reluctantly fallen for the main female lead, Emma, who helped him heal in her kindness, and despite trying his damndest to push her away, her love prevailed. Silvio had Emma in his arms, capturing her lips in a heated kiss, his passion overtaking him. He slowly undid the buttons on the back of her dress, never once letting her go, and as her dress fell off her shoulders, pooling at her feet. Emma stood before Silvio, naked and exposed. Silvio’s eyes darkened, and his hands trailed down her back, one grazing Emma’s leg, fingers teasingly running up her inner thigh, reaching for the sweet honey that–

“Ya read this crap?”

You jumped for the second time that afternoon, although thankfully, you didn’t shriek like a fool this time around. Whipping your head to the side, you startled at Jude’s leering face peering at the book in your hands from over your shoulder, a sadistic grin playing on his lips. 

God damn it. How did you not hear him move across the room?

You blushed. Of all the people to be caught by, Jude honestly had to be one of the worst because it was highly unlikely he would let this go, at least not until he tortured you into the darkest depths of humiliation.

“Ain’t that some lewd shit?” He glittered wickedly at you. “This what yer into, princess?”

You groaned, wanting nothing more than to bury your face in your hands, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing how affected you were by him in this given moment.

“What’s wrong with reading ‘this shit?” you pushed back.

“Nothin’.” Jude leaned in closer. “Expected nothin’ else from an indecent woman like ya.”

His face was so close to yours, his nose, a mere inch or so from brushing against your cheek. You could feel the heat of his body on yours, and suddenly, the room felt stifling and sweltering, as if the sun burned instead of glowing through the large windows.

“Clearly I’m not the only one if you’re familiar,” you spat, attempting to mask the strange tightening sensation in your chest and your rapidly rising heartbeat.

The look Jude was giving you was frighteningly predatory, his eyes flashing with a devilish heat. You gulped, his intensity robbing you of your ability to breathe. His eyes lazily trailed from you back to the book in your shaking hands.

“Yer at the part where he finally gives in to his desires, are ya?”

You blinked, several times in rapid succession. How would he know that unless he… “Did you really read this?!” Jude read a lot of things, but this… you never expected him to read fantasy let alone romance. 

“Wouldn’t ya like to know, princess.”

God, you wished you could slap that infuriating smirk off his face… or maybe kiss it. 

You flushed. Where the hell did that come from?!

Your body’s state of discomfort didn’t go unnoticed by the devil of a man teasing you.

“Ya want me to show ya what happens next?”

You felt the flush on your face spread, creeping further down your neck and disappearing into your blouse. You swallowed thickly as you watched Jude follow the bright red of your skin disappear into your clothes, and the temperature of the room increased by a few more degrees. 

Why was it so damn hot?

“No, I’m quite alright.”

Why was your voice pitching an octave higher?!

“Ya sure? If ya dream about such… lewd things, I can make it happen for ya.”

Something in your brain short-circuited when his slender finger began tracing along your collarbone and down your sternum. His finger was feather-light against your body, but the way your body fluttered from his touch felt so shamefully good, you didn’t want him to stop.

“That’s… that’s not necessary,” you hoarsely retorted, kicking yourself internally when your voice cracked.

Jude’s finger stilled, and pulling away, he straightened back into an upright position. “That’s yer choice then? Suit yerself.” He shrugged, placing his hands in his pockets. 

You faltered. The sudden loss of his proximity felt enraging. There was a fire smoldering within you, all caused by him, and he was just walking away. You gaped at his back, oscillating between wanting to hold onto your pride and wanting him to come back and finish what he started. You watched Jude move further and further away until he reached the entrance to the parlor.

“Wait!”

You grimaced at how quickly you folded and how flustered you were at his teasing, but… the sudden absence of him felt hollow… and you wanted to know how the book went… in person, demonstrated by Jude’s own slender hands.

Jude paused.

You licked your lips, feeling parched at what you were about to say next.

“What happens next?”

That piqued Jude’s interest, and he turned to face you. You couldn’t quite read the expression on his face, and he remained silent, scrutinizing you.

“Ya really wanna know?”

“Yes.”

He held your gaze, something dark and stormy brewing on his brows. He took a menacing step forward.

“Ya want me to show ya?”

“Yes...”

Jude crossed the distance back to where you sat, keeping his eyes trained on yours, and then he smirked, the devilish grin back again, teasing you.

“No turnin’ back now, princess.”

“No…”

Jude reached down, crashing his thin lips against yours. You hungrily pushed back, the fire blazing into an inferno. He pulled back, lightly panting, a thumb roughly swiping against your bottom lip.

“Where’d ya leave off? Where Silvio takes off her dress?”

You nodded. Jude pulled on the ribbon holding the collar together, pulling it down your shoulders. You closed your eyes, biting down the sensual moan building in your throat as he trailed feverish kisses down your neck and shoulders. His hands deftly undid the buttons along your back, each graze of his fingers on your skin leaving behind a tingling buzz. Soon your blouse was off and tossed to the side.

“Heh… it goes down just as deep as I figured…” You heard Jude delightfully mutter to himself eyeing the pink flush covering your torso.

“Jude,” you whined, drawing out the vowel in his name. “Give me a minute, princess. Let me look at ya.”

You knew you turned even redder at his statement, feeling vulnerable at the way his burning eyes raked over your naked flesh, admiring how deep the flush had crept down. Inhaling sharply, he brought his mouth down to your breast, taking one pert peak into his mouth, biting down and soothing it with his tongue.

You gasped, the sensation of him on your breast even better than you could have imagined – not that you imagined it, except maybe once or twice when alone in your room reading that stupid novel… definitely not because Silvio reminded you of a fiery version of Jude…

“Gotta get yer skirt off.”

He moved to unbutton your skirt, and you pushed your hips off the couch so he could yank both your skirt and your underwear down your legs and carelessly discard them to the floor, all while still taunting you with his skillful tongue. You briefly wondered in your dizzy, pleasure-riddled mind where he had learned to be so skilled with his mouth, wondering if it was learned from his smoking addiction, but that didn’t seem to make much sense at all.

“Jude… what– what does Silvio do next?”

You could barely get your question out, so breathless and enraptured in the way his mouth was playing with you, the ripples of rapture you were feeling from his tongue alone coursing down to your belly.

“Heh… I’ll show ya.” Jude rolled your sensitive peak between his teeth, trailing up your bare leg, stroking your inner thigh dangerously close to where your arousal pooled. “He strokes her… here.”

His fingers brushed along your folds, coating themselves in your slick desire, lightly pressing on the sweet nub sitting at the top of your slit. You arched your back, a strangled moan escaping you, unable to hold back the vocal expressions of your gratification any longer.

“Ya liked that, didja? Ya nasty woman.”

His glee at your writhing from his provocation was clearly evident in the pleased tone of his voice. You knew you should be upset, the way you normally would when he called you names, but something about his taunting was only adding to the torrential mix of him, his touch, his voice, his scent.

“What… Ngh…” Your hips jerked sharply as his finger circled firmly above your slit yet again. “What… Jude, what does… haah… Silvio do next?”

“This.” 

Jude unceremoniously plunged two of his fingers inside you. The most animalistic guttural groan ripped out of you, surprising not just Jude, but also yourself. You couldn’t ever recall when you made such a primal noise before in your life, but the sensation of him inside of you was unholy, curling against a part of you that you didn’t even know existed, but had you violently arching your back at the white hot flash before your eyes.

“God damn, princess.” 

You heard Jude bite out as you clamped down on his fingers, lewd whimpers tumbling from your lips. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t had any experience, but nothing… nothing… like this. You were on fire, and he hadn’t even fully touched you yet.

“And then?” you barely rasped out, breathing erratically shallow, disoriented and dizzy from the onslaught of his fingers inside of you and his thumb pressing your clit. 

“Eager, princess?” Jude teased, but there was less of a taunt and more of a feral growl in the way he replied. 

“Jude,” you pitifully whined, bucking wildly against his palm, trying your hardest to keep up with how quickly his fingers were pumping in and out of you. The coil in your belly was taut, ready to snap at any moment.

“He uses his mouth.”

The sudden absence of his fingers snapped you back to reality, but your reprieve was short-lived because the next thing you knew, Jude was between your legs and hauling you towards his face by the bruising grip he had on your hips. Settling his mouth on you, he ran his tongue up your slit.

Your breath hitched.

Oh sweet heavens.

You threw your head back, grasping the soft cushions below you in a vice grip as Jude ravaged you, holding you in place, digging his fingertips into your supple flesh. He explored every inch of you with his mouth, feasting on you like a man starved, the coil in your belly only growing tighter and tighter.

He nudged his mouth up higher and sucked down hard.

“Jude!”

The coil snapped. You saw stars as shudder after shudder of ecstasy overtook you in waves, mind devoid of any thoughts save for the intense pleasure running through you and the sensation of Jude continuing to mouth you through your tremors.

“Don’t think that happened in the book,” Jude snickered, using his sleeve to wipe your essence off his mouth and chin.

“And.. and then?” you asked weakly, laying there dazed, staring at the ceiling and thinking that this couldn’t possibly be the end.

“And then…” 

The sound of rustling had you craning your head to see Jude at long fucking last removing every piece of clothing until he was just as exposed as you, his dick standing at attention. You marveled at how it was just like him, tall, sinewy, thicker than it looked, maybe even slightly irritated with a permanent scowl on its face. You wondered how it would feel in your mouth. In you.

Jude sat back on the other end of the couch, legs spread open. “Go on, put it in yerself.” He arched an eyebrow, a corner of his mouth flicking upwards, that smug smirk you wanted to slap – or was it kiss now – daring you to come closer.

You pushed yourself up into a sitting position, ignoring the damp spot forming beneath you staining the velvet below. “We’re not following the book anymore, are we?”

“Very perceptive of ya, princess. So, ya gonna come here or not?” Jude patted his lap, mocking you with that shit-eating smirk of his.

You glowered at him, but your gaze fell back to his lap, and you felt yourself move, crawling towards him on all fours, fully aware you were giving him a show based on the scandalous look on his face. He leaned back even further into the cushions, resting both his arms along the top of the couch, spread out and proudly on display.

Cocky bastard.

Sweetly smiling at the infuriatingly smug man in front of you, you rose on your knees, and straddling his lap, feeling emboldened, you kissed him furiously, guiding him into position. Without breaking the kiss, you sank down, hard, burying him to the hilt.

Jude choked on his own breath.

Oh. You grinned villainously into his mouth. He wasn’t expecting that.

You ground against him wanting to provoke him for taunting you mercilessly, relishing each choked groan he uttered. You squeezed your thighs, intentionally clenching around him as you pushed yourself up, preparing to slide down agonizingly slowly, to tease him for a change. 

Smug, arrogant, sadistic, fucking sexy jerk.

Jude snapped, thrusting into you without abandon, the tip of him ramming into your cervix. You exhaled sharply, the pain radiating from your center not wholly unwelcome, your vision flashing white. Jude flipped you onto your back during your dazed confusion, and he slammed into you repeatedly.

“Then, princess,” he grunted, brutally jerking his hips into you, a primal frenzy overtaking him, “they fucked.”

He moved against you with such force you could only cling to him. Seeking the tiniest bit of respite, you wrapped your legs around him, accidentally pulling him deeper into you, causing Jude to growl ferociously and only increase his frenzied pace.

You were trembling. For the second time, Jude had you seeing stars, writhing from the unbearable pleasure building deep in you. You didn’t want him to stop, desperate for him to make you cum, to make you quake and shiver and quiver, to make you unravel in the throes of passion, to come undone by his hand.

“Hah.. princess, yer so tight.”

Jude’s groans were right in your ear, his voice vibrating through his body into yours. A thrilling ecstasy was overtaking you, heading towards an explosive peak only he could bring you to, building, building, building until–

“Oi.”

A nudge.

“Oi!”

You cracked open an eye, wincing as the bright sunlight invaded your vision. 

“Oi, princess, wake up.”

Your eyes fluttered open, and blinking heavily, you rubbed your face with the palm of your hands.

“Jude?”

You blearily focused on Jude, confused as to why he was facing you by the couch instead of towering over you and way more clothed than you remembered, why you were suddenly fully clothed. Squinting as you adjusted to the light, you sat up on the couch, your book falling off your lap and tumbling to the floor below. 

Was it all just a dream?

As the tendrils of sleep faded away, the full reality of the dream you had hit you, and you blushed a furious shade of red. Oh god… you didn’t moan or utter his name in your sleep by any chance… did you? 

Wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole, you glanced at Jude, anxiously searching him for any signs he had an inkling of the indecent dream you just had, but he only had that same infuriating smirk on his face, which widened when he caught you staring at him intently.

“Hah… why’s yer face so red? Ya have a lewd dream or somethin’?”

“N–no!” you cried out, and face burning even hotter than you thought possible, you swiped your book off of the floor, running out of the parlor to put as much distance as you possibly could between you and the arrogant jerk who was starting to get that dangerous sadistic glint in his eyes.

You didn’t give him anything to torment you about, right? Right?

Groaning internally, you hurried back through the large castle to the safety of your room cursing yourself for being so careless.

Unbeknownst to you, however, you left behind a darkened patch of velvet where you had been laying. Jude ran a finger over it, lips curling when he realized it was damp right where your hips had been on the cushion. He snickered, a sound you thankfully were not around to hear, rubbing his pointer and thumb together.

“Hopeless.”

[yesihaveaobsession]

YOUR Book Boyfriend

Alastor x female reader

Summary: The reader (you) ask Alastor to be a personal book boyfriend.

A/N- honestly, he's been a book boyfriend this whole time. think about it. THOSE THAT GET IT GE IT. I hope this reaches the right audience :D

ALSO THANK YOU FOR 500 FOLLOWERS I LOVE AND APPRECIATE EVERYONE OF Y'ALL MWAH 💋✨️🥹🫶

You were curled up in the corner of the couch in the hotel lobby, your nose buried in your latest romance novel, completely absorbed by the words on the page and letting them transport you to a whole new world. As your eyes flickered over a particular moment between the heroine and her love interest, a playful idea sparked in your mind. Alastor, who was lounging nearby in his plush chair with a newspaper held loosely in one hand, just so happened to be the perfect candidate for what you had in mind.

You glanced over the top of your book and watched him for a moment before speaking up. "Alastor?" you asked. He didn’t even look up from his newspaper, but you spotted a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Yes, dear?"

You hesitated, feeling a bit silly saying it out loud, and your cheeks began to heat up just thinking about it. "You know… those things that book boyfriends do? The hand necklace, the… chin tilt, all that stuff." You didn’t even have to finish because that’s when Alastor finally lowered his newspaper. You could’ve sworn you had awakened a sleeping beast from the way his crimson eyes gleamed with amusement.

"Oh? You’re requesting a bit of theatrics from me, my dear? You should know by now, I always aim to please."

The way he grinned at you made your pulse quicken, and for a moment, you wondered if this was a bad idea. Before you could even catch your breath, Alastor stood from his chair and crossed the room, stopping right in front of you, looking down with that signature smirk that always sent shivers down your spine.

"Come here," he said, pointing a finger down. Feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness, you set your book aside and stood up, finding yourself face-to-face with the Radio Demon himself—or rather, face-to-chest. Lord, he was tall. He gently guided you to the middle of the room to give you both more space, positioning you directly in front of him.

"Maybe this was a bad idea…" you laughed nervously, the sudden weight of his presence making your heart race. But Alastor, ever the playful one, simply leaned in closer, his hand moving to rest lightly on the small of your back, pulling you a little nearer. He had done enough research (thanks to Rosie) to know what a 'book boyfriend' would do. He often saw you reading, biting the tip of your thumb with a smile, and it intrigued him. Rosie wasn’t sure how to explain it at first, but eventually, he understood.

"Oh, no, no. It’s a wonderful idea," he said. Then, in a slow, deliberate motion, he brought his clawed hand up and brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his fingers grazing your cheek. Your breath hitched as he tilted your chin upward, his eyes locking with yours so intensely that it made your knees weak. He definitely knew what he was doing. Rosie had told him to be flirtier but to remain himself—and that’s exactly what he did.

"Like this, dear?" he asked with an innocent head tilt, his eyes never leaving yours. You nodded, now completely flustered. You had read about this a hundred times in your books, but experiencing it firsthand, especially with Alastor, was a whole other story.

The Radio Demon let out a soft chuckle, clearly enjoying the effect he was having on you. His hand slid from your lower back as he began to circle you, almost like a predator stalking its prey, his intense eyes never breaking contact with yours. You followed his movements, feeling that intoxicating mix of anticipation and nervous excitement building inside you.

He finally stopped behind you, and you could feel the warmth of his presence. A clawed hand gently rested on your shoulder as he bent down to whisper in your ear. "What was that you were saying about this being a bad idea?"

You found it hard to breathe, let alone respond. You let out a small wheeze. "I, um… I take it back," you said, letting out a nervous laugh. You stepped closer, so close you had to tilt your head back to look up at him. You prayed Charlie and the others wouldn’t walk in on this scene—it would definitely be taken out of context. With a teasing smile, Alastor used two long fingers to lift your chin.

"Does this fulfill your little 'book boyfriend' fantasy, my dear?" he asked, tilting his head. You couldn’t take it anymore. Grabbing his hand, you spun around to face him fully, letting out a breath.

"Perhaps I should do this more often," he mused.

You let out a small, breathless laugh. "Maybe… but not too often. I don’t think my heart could take it."

In the blink of an eye, he was gone, leaving you in a flustered state. Those who understand, understand.

[orphicrose]

Are you still doing requests? Can I request Alastor x Wife reader who were married together alive an reunited in hell and while Alastor hates modern tech the reader grew on it and even started a life hack channel on voxtube of tricks from the 1920s and it becomes really popular and she gets sponsors and fan mail meanwhile Alastor needs Angel's help just to video chat her and one day she gets a 5 million subscriber mileage congratulations gift box (that all creators get bit hes still mad) from Vox himself

Old man and an Iphone

Requests are still open indeed.

I can definitely do my best! I’ve changed the dates around a little to better fit the technology advancements in the universe. This is set in the early 2000s

This is somewhat small, but i hope you like it.

----------------------

Years passed like turning pages since your husband had departed from you, in the cruelest ways that anyone could imagine. A fate that wasn’t even inevitable. That singular fragile piece of metal, shot from an unknown hunter, took him away from you.

You knew who he was, you knew what he was. Knowing that you’d end up in the same temple of horror one day that he has. His sins being your sins. That brought you some peace. Knowing you’d be reunited one day. Even if it was in the worst place imaginable. Hell. That day came sooner than you’d like to admit. Leaving behind your clueless grandchildren and your own hellish spawn.

The ground below you hit rather hard, not even knowing you were falling down the rabbit hole till the bottom came right to your face. You let off a grunt in response. Your body feeling light, all of a sudden. As if the age and wrinkles had just vanished, and you were young again. Legs feeling like they could run miles, and skin, well. Your new hellish form wasn’t much of an improvement from leather skin.

Knowing for years you’d end up here, it wasn’t too difficult to take in. Accepting your sins and your fate as a part of your journey. It wasn’t so bad. There was society, and structure down here. Immortality being the only true torture.

The other torture, you had no idea where your dearest Alastor had ended up. It had been almost 70 years since you’d seen him, god knows what he looks like now. Your reunion was sudden, after all, he was a well known overlord. Yet, it was still something out of a textbook romance novel.

Over the next decade or two, you two spent every second together. Refusing to be apart again. You sharing stories about your children, grandchildren. Melting Alastor's heart like he never thought you could. There was so much catching up to do. After time, you became infatuated with the media, creating your own channel. it was called "Hellish crafts", which started with a bunch of silly tips and tricks when it comes to house work. Alastor didn't understand, but it came with a hefty income.

After becoming tenants at the misguided daughters of hells hotel, you soon began helping with advertisements. Which grew the channel even more. From random life hacks, to advertisements, to smaller channels asking you for your help to grow theirs.

"Must you film me, dear?" his hand covers his face as the camera fizzes out of focus.

"Yes! Its for Charlie. Lighten up old man" You teased him, filming the hotel lobby. He smiled at your expression, resting a hand on the small of your back as you did your craft.

"Y/n! Y/n! Another letter for you!" Niffty ran over

Alastors hand dropped, snatching the letter from the little goblin.. Eyebrows furrowed. "This is the third letter in the passed three days, sweetheart"

"What can i say, my channel is a hit" One eye was closed as the other was pressed to the run down camera that Alastor insisted you used. Still walking slowly around the hotel, trying to get a good shot. Alastor stood in his place, reading the letter. "Another delusional fan" He mumbled.

"Don't worry! i wont let the fame go to my head" You swung around with the camera, getting him in frame. The static of his aura interfered with the lens and gave your brow a small electric shock. Jolting you backwards.

"I've warned you about that" He chuckled, hand returning to your waist and pulling you closer. His other hand with the letter, raising, and a fit of flames emitted. Turning the letter into ash on the floor, which nifty didn't wait to clean up.

Life was like this for a while, constant letters. Some weird, some genuine. But you never got to read most of them, as Alastor made it his duty to send them to another realm before you could. was he jealous? maybe, he'd never care to admit it though. That was until a rather glamorous piece of paper fell through the letter box on this particular day. Stamped with Vox's logo. You got to this letter first.

"What the fuck?" Your almost angry tone alerted Alastor, whose body materialized next to yours in seconds. "What's the matter, my dear?" his eyes briefly scanned over the letter before snatching it from you.

"What is a 5 million subscriber?"

"Its the amount of people who support my channel, i honestly didn't even know it was that big." you stared up at him, waiting for some sort of outburst on his face.

"That's... " he thought for a second "Wonderful dear! Absolutely wonderful!" his arms wrapped around you in an embrace, spinning you around. When you first started the channel, with his knowledge, it was more of a way to pass the time. So, for it to be as big as it is now was quite the accomplishment. What kind of husband would he be not to support his perfect wife, he thought. Whether she was practically paying vox or not. His quarrels weren't hers.

"I believe you have some type of reward, y/n" He spoke again, putting you down and giving the letter back. His sharp nail pointed at a fine print at the bottom. 'Visit the Vee headquarters to redeem your reward'.

You both looked at each other, brows raised and a concerned look in your eyes. "I'm sure it's not important. I don't need a reward"

He looked as if he was in deep thought. Contemplating everything for a second. "You should go" "But vox is your-"

"Hush, little woman" His finger covered your lips "This is important to you darling. I trust you"

The smile on your face made his bigger, making you deserving of the little peck he placed on your lips before adjusting his posture. "On the condition that my shadow follows your every move"

"Done"

A few hours had passed since your departure, Charlie offering razzle and dazzle to escort you to the large mansion on the other side of the pentagram. It was quite the journey, considering the traffic. And it wasn't long before Alastor began to miss you, wondering if you were okay.

"Ahem" static gave Angel a brief episode of tinnitus before he swung his body on the lobby sofa, met with the lanky deer.

"Waddya want, pimp?" his attention didn't last long, his phone having far more interesting contents than the demon lurking behind him.

"I need a favor" his smile made the question seem a lot more sadistic than intended. His body swiftly moved around the sofa, standing in front of the spider now.

"If you want my soul, I got bad news for ya."

"Your soul?" He was almost confused for a second "No, i need help with this" he lifted his hand, angels phone disappearing and reappearing in the deer's grip.

"Wh- hey! Give that back" Angel leapt to his feet, reaching up and snatching it back. "Why do you want help with a phone? Aren't you like, from the dark ages?"

It took Alastor a moment to be able to admit to it. "I'd like... to call my wife"

"Awww, is someone clingy" angels teasing didn't last long before radio dials appeared in the demons eyes, radio interference filling the air as quickly as it had disappeared earlier. "Okay, okay" Angels hands flew up in surrender, Alastor returning to normal instantly. "Splended!"

It took a moment for Angel to flick through the thousands of contacts he had, before he finally reached you. Pressing the call button and handing the phone to Al. Who held it like an old grampa looking at a meme. "What do i do now?" he squinted his eyes at the device in his hand. "Just hold it" Angels voice became frustrated as he readjusted the phone in Als hand.

You had picked up the call a minute ago now, on your way back to the hotel. Being greeted to the two boys bickering. "Helloooo?" you sung out, attempting to get their attention.

"Oh. Hello my dear!" Alastor noticed to and bared his teeth in an awkward smile. "I just wanted to see how my love was doing, is all"

"How sweet. I will be back soon." You had many questions to ask when you were back with the comfort of your person.

"Do hurry"

[daytaker]

The Gang React to You Giving Them Chocolates on Valentine's Day

And other Valentine's Day miscellanea. I'm going with MC giving store-bought chocolates. I know in some places, it's more common to give homemade chocolates, but I for one do not have any idea how that is done and it's not something that's common where I live, so I'm going to go with what I know, which is very little. Enjoy! (Mostly below the cut.)

The length of these varies. Some are quite short. I just wanted to put out some sort of Valentine's Day themed Thing, even if I'm almost two days late.

Lucifer

"How thoughtful. I don't suppose there's anything deeper I'm meant to read into here?"

He's so smug. Unreasonably so. More than you would expect. Yeah, guys, he got chocolates from MC. But his pride doesn't allow him to flaunt the fact. He has to just hope and pray people actively ask him whether he's gotten anything or where those not-so-discreetly placed chocolates sitting on his desk happened to come from.

Lucifer is very traditional in his treatment of you. When it comes to events like this, he's almost painfully predictable. He'll certainly have roses for you, and depending on your relationship, he might reserve dinner for two at a high end restaurant. And if your relationship is at a certain level, you can expect a trail of rose petals leading to the bed. It's kind of cringeworthy but he means well.

Mammon

"O-oh... Ahem... Is it Valentine's Day? Ha! I thought I was forgettin' somethin'. Heh, uh... thanks, human."

Obviously he didn't forget; he's been stressing over this day for the past week. He needs to get you something, but it can't be anything that's too cheesy or anything that makes him look cheap, so he's probably broken the bank to get you some sort of jewelry that he'll spend the next century paying off, but it's worth it.

When he gets chocolates from you, he plays it off like it's no big deal, but actually, he's so excited to reciprocate that before he has time to think it over, he's acting like he just so happened to have this expensive piece of jewelry on his person so you might as well take it for him. He spends the rest of the day kicking himself because now how in the world are you supposed to know that this was actually a very tactful and expensive gift from the greatest demon in the Devildom?

That, and he'll probably spend the entire day glaring at his brothers and the dateables from the corner as they shower you with gifts and attention.

Leviathan

"Wh...? For me? This isn't a prank, right? Because I'm not gonna forgive you if this box is full of tide pods!"

It's not full of tide pods, so all is well. He's so embarrassed to have doubted you that he tries to just shove his gift into your hands and push you out of his room, but it won't take too much persistence to get him to back down.

His gift is some sort of merch relating to an anime, manga, or game the two of you have particularly enjoyed together. Preferably something cute and evocative of the holiday. He doesn't know. He's never done this before. Why would he? Nobody would ever think to give him anything on Valentine's Day, so why would he bother with gifts? You do remember that nobody likes him, right? He doesn't like them either, so it's fine, but---

Let's just thank him for our gift before he falls too far down the self-hate spiral.

Satan

"I had hoped I might receive something from you today."

Satan is glad to get something from you, no matter what it is, but to be honest, chocolates probably aren't the best choice for him. He'd rather have something a little more heart-felt, that seems like you picked it out with him in mind. Literally anything cat-themed, or a book of some sort (bonus if it's a romance novel).

He's probably gone and done something stupidly romantic like buy you flowers and a book of poetry with certain parts highlighted.

But don't be fooled. Satan's favorite part of Valentine's Day is talking about its gruesome history, from the martyrdom of St. Valentine to a whole host of brutal murders that have taken place on the day. Catch him trying to figure out how to shoehorn the Chicago St. Valentine's Day Massacre into a casual conversation.

Asmodeus

"Oh, for meeee? You're such a sweetheart!"

He adds it to his enormous pile of chocolates, cards, flowers, and love letters. But of course, it's special, because it's from you.

He loves it, but... he's another one who would probably prefer something a little more personalized. Being who he is, he's a very popular demon on Valentine's Day, so seeing you put in a little effort to get him something with a bit of Asmo-flair would thrill him.

Beelzebub

"Chocolates...? This is the best thing I could have asked for. They'll taste even better knowing they're from you."

Well, obviously he loves them. He probably tried to get you chocolates too, but it doesn't matter how much he loves you. Beel's gonna Beel. The box is empty. He's shocked. He was sure he left some.

Belphegor

"...Wait, it's...? ...Thanks, MC. They look really good."

Belphie stares down at the chocolates in his hands, looking tired and mellow, while he internally panics because holy shit, it's already February 14? When did that happen? He doesn't have anything for you. He hates Valentine's Day. Why does it have to exist and lay bare all his inadequacies, like being a procrastinator and forgetting to prepare for things in advance even to the slightest degree?

Diavolo

"Ah, for Valentine's Day! It's a delight to receive this in person!"

Diavolo probably gets plenty of Valentine's Day presents from admirers (and suck-ups) around the Devildom, but most of them come in the mail or are otherwise delivered in an impersonal manner. So when you approach him directly to give him some chocolates, he's reminded why you're everyone's favorite human (himself included).

Also, you'd better clear out your schedule, because Diavolo booked out all of Ristorante Six for a dinner date tonight. Yes, the entire thing. Yes, on Valentine's Day. No, he's not worried about the dozens of disappointed couples who had probably been hoping to eat there.

Barbatos

"Any gift from you is satisfactory in my eyes."

It's kind of embarrassing to give regular old chocolates to someone like Barbatos who's a complete whiz in the kitchen, especially when it comes to sweets. But you figure he'd appreciate the gesture, and you'd be right. Of course, he will turn around and present you with a variety of immaculate, handcrafted artisan chocolates, tailor made to your personal taste. But sure, those store-bought candies you got in the heart-shaped box are completely fine, so stop stressing out about it.

Solomon

"Aw, thank you, my adorable apprentice! I have some homemade chocolates for you! What? Aren't you going to try some?"

Solomon tries to kill you on Valentine's Day...with love, obviously! But seriously, aren't you going to try the chocolates? He put his whole heart into them. And the hearts of several unique Devildom species. They're not toxic, stop worrying.

Simeon

"The fact that you thought of me means more than you realize."

And he means it. The fact that you thought about him, and when thinking about him, made the active decision to buy him something for Valentine's Day makes him stupidly happy.

Simeon strikes me as a flowers kind of guy. He got you flowers. Maybe some homemade treats too, but definitely flowers.

Luke

"Thanks! I got you something too. Happy Valentine's Day!"

Luke made cookies. They're delicious. Befriending this kid is the smartest thing you ever did.

[cloudyyoimiya]

hi! Can you do a part two of measuring hands with bsd boys? including ranpo, fyodor, Nikolai, and sigma?

oh my word yall i’m so glad you enjoy these little scenarios! anyways yes ofc i can write these! i already did nikolai and sigma, so i’ll just write fyodor, ranpo, and jouno :)

Measuring Their Hands; Ranpo Edogawa, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and Saigiku Jouno

Format: Scenarios

Quick Note: Heres a link to part one and part two

Ranpo Edogawa

It was roughly six in the morning, the world still shrouded in darkness with the occasional few lights from stores turning on, getting ready for business in the morning. As of now you and your boyfriend were currently cuddling in your shared bed, holding hands comfortably as the two of you woke up. Ranpo’s head was lightly resting on your shoulder, clearly comfortable.

You could feel him squeezing your hand softly, and that made you shift your gaze down to your interlaced hands.

“Ranpo?” You asked, still slightly sleepy.

“Huh?”

“Can you flatten your palm real quick? I wanna see something,” you said as you flattened your own palm against his hand.

“Why? What do you wanna do?” He asked, his voice still slightly groggy from waking up.

“Ranpo, you already know. You’re smart.”

He sleepily chuckled at the praise. “That I am! I just wanted you to say it so I can confirm my suspicions, but I guess I don’t have to do that. I’ll be merciful just this once!”

After he was done talking, he flattened his hand against yours. When you glanced down to get a good look, you could tell that his hands were only the slightest bit bigger than yours—maybe by only an inch. They were also rather soft considering that he doesn’t use firearms all that often. His nails also were well taken care of surprisingly. You never really saw him take care of them before, so this was new to you.

“Your hands are bigger than mine,” you said with a small smile. “That’s shocking. I thought that your hands would be smaller than mine, not the other way around.”

“I’m surprised that you didn’t know that sooner,” Ranpo spoke as he looked down at your joined hands. “I’ve known that for quite a while.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Well the first time I saw you I took in every detail I could! You were so attractive… How couldn’t I?” He grumbled into your shoulder.

You giggled. “I see. I’m glad you found me attractive.”

“Mhm…”

Ranpo quickly interlaced your fingers once more and pulled your arm over his side so you could cuddle him. He then let go of your hand then wrapped his own arm around you, making sure not to hold you too tight or too loose.

“Let’s go back to sleep. It’s too early,” Ranpo whined.

You sighed. “Love, it’s six in the morning. We have to get ready for work soon.”

“Ten more minutes…”

“How about two?”

“Five.”

“Alright, fine. Five more minutes,” you said as you kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

You were currently sitting on the couch, listening to your boyfriend play the cello while reading a light novel. Fyodor was playing a piece called “Bird of Death,” and it was rather relaxing. Occasionally you’d glance up from your reading and watch how Fyodor would carefully yet so gracefully glide the bow across the strings, creating a beautiful melody.

After a while, Fyodor had stopped playing the cello. He then looked up at you, giving you a knowing look. He could see you staring at his hands, so that raised the question…

“Why are you looking at my hands?” Fyodor asked with a small smirk.

“Oh! It’s nothing really,” you said as you closed your book. “I just wanted to see whose is bigger.”

He let out a small hum. “Then come over here so we can measure them.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, myshka.”

“Alright then,” you said as you stood up from your seat. You then walked over towards where he was sitting. “Give me your hand.”

He let out a soft a soft chuckle, then gave you his hand after putting his bow away in its case. “Here you go.”

You took his hand, then flattened it against your own. His hand was considerably bigger than yours, and his fingers were also quite skinny. His hand was surprisingly soft excluding the areas where he had small callouses from holding his bow. You then shifted your gaze to his nails. They were very short and uneven, most likely from him biting on them when he was scheming something. You could also see a few blue veins on the back of his hand.

“Your hands are bigger,” you simply stated. “I’m not surprised.”

Fyodor continued to smirk up at you. “Why so?”

“Because you easily play the cello. Don’t you need long fingers for that?”

He bummed. “I suppose you do, though, I do find your small hands cute.”

“They aren’t small! Your hands are just abnormally larger than mine.”

“Sure they are, my dear,” he spoke with a slight chuckle escaping his lips afterwards. “My hands are average. Yours are just small.”

“They are not.”

“Alright, alright. Keep telling yourself that, my love.”

Fyodor then curled his fingers under yours and brought your hand closer to his mouth. He then gave your knuckles a slight kiss and looked up at you while doing so. It seemed like his main goal was to fluster you into agreement, and it was slowly starting to work. He know exactly what he was doing.

“I know what you’re doing,” you said with a small smile creeping onto your face. “It’s not gonna work.”

“Oh? How can you be so sure? My love, you’re already cracking a smile. I think whatever I’m doing is working.”

“You’re terrible.”

“But yet you love me.”

You sighed. “You’re right, as always.”

“Of course I am,” he spoke as he kissed your knuckles once more. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Saigiku Jouno

Currently you were in your shared home with your boyfriend. He had just got home from fulfilling his duties as a Hunting Dog, and you were finishing up cleaning the house for him. It was starting to get rather dusty, and you knew that it would throw off your boyfriends senses, so you decided to clean up around the house because you wanted to stop something that was easily preventable.

Jouno sat down on the couch, then let out a rather loud sigh. You could tell today was a long one for him, so you decided to stop what you were doing and sat down next to him.

“Something wrong?” You asked as you took one of his hands into yours. You then took off his glove and put it on your lap.

“Tecchou was being more of a nuisance than usual today,” he groaned. “He’s insufferable.”

“From the stories you tell me, I bet he is,” you said with a small chuckle. You then paused for a moment. “Hey, can I do something with your hand real quick?”

Jouno’s eyebrow quirked up for a moment. “What are you thinking of doing?”

“I just wanna see if your hand is bigger than mine is all,” you spoke softly. “I have no ulterior motives, don’t worry.”

He took a moment to listen to your heart rate, then nodded to himself. “Alright. Go on then.”

“Thank you,” you said as you carefully flattened your hand against his. You made sure to go slow in order to not startle him.

Once your hands were both flattened against each others, you looked at them for a moment. They were calloused from his constant use of his saber, but yet there were tiny spots where they were also soft. His hands were also a little bit bigger than yours—maybe by one or two inches. Jouno’s fingernails were also slightly unkept, but they remained short all the same.

“Your hands are bigger than mine,” you simply spoke.

“I can feel that,” Jouno said with a small smirk crawling onto his face.

“I shouldn’t have let you find out about this.”

“Oh? Why is that?” Jouno asked sarcastically.

“Because now you’ll tease me over it,” you said as you huffed. “You always do that when you find out something that I can be teased over.”

“That I do, my dear,” he said as he chuckled. “Though, who’s to say I’ll tease you about something as small as this? I could always find something else.”

“Like what?” You questioned.

“Hm, let me think for a moment,” he said as he put his free hand on his chin, acting as if he was deep in thought. “Well, your heart rate does accelerate when I tell you how much I find your reactions cute.”

“Huh? Does it really?”

“It does. And it’s rather loud if I may add.” He smiled. “You know how much I dislike loud noises, my love. Maybe you should apologize for that, hm?”

“Saigiku! Quit it!”

Jouno sighed. “Alright fine. You’re no fun.”

“Yeah, sure I am.”

Jouno then intertwined the both of your hands and brought them to his mouth. He then gave your knuckles a small kiss.

“My dear, you make teasing you too easy. I love you for that, you know.”

[undiscovered-horizon]

Return to sender - Kaz Brekker x Reader

[graphic descriptions of violence/injury]

SUMMARY: Someone from your past keeps sending you unambiguously romantic letters. While you think of them as nothing beyond an inconvenience, Kaz has a different opinion.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.9k

A/N: I'm going through the first editorial correction for my novel and as it turns out, I can't speak my own mother tongue lmao

Kaz has an eye for details. Whether it’s a pattern or an overlooked design, he always notices. That set of skills, either he learned them or was born with them, made it painfully obvious to him that your foul mood coincided with correspondence he never saw you actually read. The letter usually ends up in the nearest fireplace, its secrets never uncovered and you maunder around the club looking for a fight or a strong drink. A much bigger problem, however, was the fact that if you were in a sour mood, Kaz would become exceptionally chippy without an apparent cause. ‘Care for my investment’ he calls it, which makes a rather amusing euphemism.

In any event, he knows that the letter should arrive today. Exactly seven weeks had passed since the last time some mysterious correspondence pissed you off and the sender, as far as Kaz has noticed, is like clockwork. Strangely enough, he can’t recall a day when the letter should arrive that you’d come to the club already annoyed as though he has become privy to a rather obvious pattern that you remain oblivious to. If so, he has even more advantage - he can solve this inconvenience behind your back, in case you’d try to dismiss him. He wouldn’t listen anyway, of course. Not when it comes to you.

Knowing very well that you have a habit of arriving shortly after Inej, he’s quick to find the thief before you even get a chance of catching wind of his scheme. She’s fixing her clothes when she spots him hastily limping towards her with his face turned nearly into a snarl. A hand brushes through his hair. He’s agitated. But Inej knows better than to make the first move against the unmovable mountain. Kaz sought her out, after all, and if he means business, he won’t waste time.

And he does just as she thought. Speaking in a low tone, Kaz makes her part of his conspiracy: “Inej, I need you to do something but no one else can know. Someone will deliver a letter today. Follow them and find out as much as you can,” his voice is stern, not accepting refusal. The matter appears urgent, of utter importance.

Her keen gaze studies his face for a moment, looking for any way even the slightest tick of muscles could reveal a further piece of the mystery she isn’t yet privy to. “Is this about the new job we’re doing?” She elegantly manoeuvres around the subject.

Kaz knows what she’s trying to do. He clenches his jaw and gives her a blank, although somewhat impatient, look before slowly answering: “It’s rather loosely related.”

This is enough to put her curiosity on hold - for now, at least. The unmovable mountain remains, well, unmovable. Inej nods. “I’m on it.”

The moment she ends her sentence, the door to the club opens with a creek echoing through the otherwise empty venue, immediately earning the undivided attention of Kaz and Inej. The sound of heels against the wooden floor is unmistakable as is the fitting, rather short, coat. Inej smiles, stifling laughter as she notices Kaz immediately straightening his back when he sees you.

There’s a certain spring to your step, one that Kaz has learned to associate with complacency. Although this joyous aura is making his mind turn into quicksand swallowing anything coherent, he’s got enough grip on his thoughts to render his theory proved - you really do not have any idea that the letters come regularly. 

With a triumphant grin, you wave a scroll in his face. “I had a hunch and did some browsing at the city archives. You’re going to love it.”

Inej is gone and the only thing Kaz can do at the moment is wait along with trying his best not to think about this mail fiasco. But considering you’ll spend the entire day a mere inch or two away from him, he’s hardly going to do much thinking anyway. 

“Let’s see it then,” Kaz interposes before turning around and walking back to his office. 

Making his way to Brekker’s office, Jesper examined the expensive stationery from every side and angle. No matter the perspective, the cursive letters on the front still spell out your name. Truthfully, he does that every time you receive mail, mainly because of how little you talk about the possible sender. There’s always a huff, an eye-roll and the envelope ends up turned into ashes, without any further explanation. You become short-tempered for the rest of the day and go ballistic on anyone trying to inquire about the mysterious correspondence. As much entertainment as it usually brings Jesper, he’s smart enough to know when to stop poking the bear.

Jesper knocks on the door but opens them right after - announcing his arrival rather than asking for permission to enter. 

“...smuggling through the sewers.” He hears you finishing your sentence.

Both you and Kaz simultaneously tear away your gaze from the maps scattered on the table and bore your eyes into Jesper with anticipation. He lifts the letter, wriggling his wrist slightly, and immediately your expression falls. You clench your fist. A contemptuous grimace creeps onto your face.

“Letter for you,” he announces.

“By the Saints, not this again,” you whisper and roll your eyes.

“What do you mean again?” Jesper asks casually, half expecting you to break his hand and half hoping for an answer. Today, as it turns out, is his lucky day.

“A friend once convinced me to go to some socialite high tea with her. I met someone there, we wrote to each other a few times and then he started to be obnoxious, the whole ‘woe is me’ lark.” The memory must still be vivid to you as you let out an annoyed sigh. “He claimed he can’t live without me while never spelling my name correctly. But since I value myself a little too much to waste my time on pity parties, I simply stopped replying. The last letter I sent him, I don’t know, three years ago? And he just keeps coming back.” You clench your jaw, clearly stopping yourself from a string of profanities considered obscene even in this company.

Jesper puts on a playful grin. “You know, you never struck me as someone who’d have a secret admirer.”

Your irritated gaze makes him equally amused and nervous. “He’s not exactly secret, is he? More of a returning cockroach infestation. Worry not, boys, I’ll just burn this one like the rest and we can all forget about this little perplexity.”

“Come on, you’re not even a little bit curious about what’s inside?” Jesper coaxes as he hands you the letter.

“Believe me when I tell you that I don’t give a rat’s bald ass about this man and his pathetic wax poetic.” You snatch the envelope, all the while looking at your friend with squinted, piercing eyes. Considering who you are, a complete lack of curiosity whatsoever might as well be a symptom of a lethal disease.

In that short moment, when the stationery goes from Jesper’s hand into yours, Kaz watches the letter as closely as he can. Smooth paper, probably expensive. Careful lettering, written with patience and thoughtfulness. An aroma of mint and tobacco lingers on the parchment. The stamp has the current date on it and the postal code is only a few numbers away from the club’s - whoever sent it is in Ketterdam and quite close by.

Kaz makes those little observations just in time because you throw the letter into the fireplace behind him, without even glancing at the paper. The flames grow for a few seconds, devouring the dry stationery. Soon, there’s no evidence that any mail has been delivered to you on this day.

“Now, where were we?” You clap your hands. “Ah, sewers.” Jesper takes the change of subject as his cue to leave but you stop him right when he pushes down the door handle. “Oh, and Jesper? If you tell Inej, I’m ripping your arm off and beating you to death with it.”

He looks at you over his shoulder, a newfound sense of anxiety turning his vivid amusement into somewhat tame courtesy, leaving his smile unfaltering but tearing away the genuine joy behind it. “I will keep this enlightening piece of advice in mind, thank you.”

The door clicks as Jesper closes it behind himself. Returning to your previous engagement, you stumble upon Brekker’s stern gaze of disapproval. 

“Do not maim my investments.” Although it’s supposed to be a scolding or a threat, it comes out with a certain note of disinterest.

“Don’t try playing all nice, Kaz. You and I both know you’d watch for like ten minutes before stepping in.”

His gloved finger taps the map. “Sewers.” 

You mumble something along the lines of ‘yes, sir’ and pick up the single-handed divider again. Kaz examines your face out of the corner of his eye. Judging by your casual demeanour, the palm’s length between your heads is of no bother to you. Maybe you’re just too busy counting the segments with the divider. When you’re done, you reach for the other side of the desk, for a moment leaving broody Kaz to the, surprisingly cold, lukewarm air filling the room.

This day just can’t seem to end for Burr Lowther. First, he had to take his regular trip into the filth of the Barrel, he shudders at the memory, only to then spend another ten hours at the sewing workshop. Being a foreman pays exceptionally well and perhaps this is the only reason he’s still putting up with those lazy needlewomen. 

Putting his well-kept coat on the hanger by the front door, Burr lets out a sigh of relief - compared to the factory, his house is a quiet oasis. He remembers to take out a pouch and a box of expensive cigars from his coat. Without much thinking, he opens the small bag and puts another leaf of mint between his teeth. What started first as an addition to his personal hygiene, has quickly become a habit impossible to kill. Now used to the strong, chilly sensation on his tongue, he’s grown to like it. 

The house is drowning in darkness. Dim, yellow light from the streetlamps crawling in through the windows is barely enough to let him make his way around the furniture. Foreman Lowther is yet to start the fire in his living room but he needs to be quick - if he stalls too long his joints will begin to hurt. Even with laudanum, the ache is bound to keep him up for hours and that’s something he can’t afford. But first, he needs some light to be able to get the necessary things.

Chewing on the herb, Burr walks to the table across the room from the fireplace. He puts the new box of cigars down and begins looking for something to light the oil lamp. Once he blindly finds a box of matches, his muscle memory does most of the job - he’s lit up the lamp far too many times to think about the actions. In swift, mechanical motions, Burr takes off the chimney, lights the wick and puts the glass part back on. The fire brightens the rest of the table, reminding the foreman that he forgot to put away the made-to-order McKinnon & Co. stationery. He pushes the paper farther away from the lamp, just in case.

Burr’s knees make a cracking noise when he crouches in front of the fireplace. Carefully, he lights a match and puts it between logs and old newspapers. The fire smoulders for a moment, balancing between starting and being put out, before a bigger flame begins gnawing at the dry wood and paper. 

Foreman Lowther is about to stand up when something hits the side of his head, making his face clash with the seat of a nearby armchair. Scurrying and turning around, he sees an outline of a man, looking more like a feverish mare of the night than a real human. He’s thin and tall, dressed rather elegantly. The model crow on his cane glistens in the newly started fire.

“Who are you?” Burr’s voice cracks, giving away his panic.

“A scorned businessman, Burr Lowther,” Kaz explains slowly.

The foreman climbs backwards into the armchair. It’s difficult to look imposing while sitting beside a fireplace but his fear is far too severe to let the man stand on his own two feet.

“I’ve no business with you!” he yells. A few droplets of spit fly out of his mouth. “Get out!” Burr’s shaky hand points vaguely in the direction of the front door but Kaz, as it seems, is not going anywhere just yet.

In slow steps, Kaz gets closer to Burr, the difference in height painting him even more menacing. Lowther’s hand falls limp on a small table meant for trays with food.

“Perhaps you don’t. But I have plenty with you.”

Before foreman Lowther can ask another question, Brekker drives a sharp blade through the man’s palm, pinning it to the wooden counter. A howl of pain cuts through the night, scaring away the birds sitting outside the windows. Thick, crimson blood spills from the wound, falling to the floor in long drops. The fireplace’s flame glistens in the growing puddle, the reflection dances in morbid anticipation.

Kaz walks over to the table with the oil lamp. The first thing that catches his eye is the ivory paper. Somehow, he stifles the visceral reaction it elicits from him. Grabbing the wad of stationery, he folds it a few times and puts it in the inner pocket of his coat. Then his gaze trails towards the wooden box of cigars. The name of the company, Starling, is burned in cursive lettering on the front. In a swift movement, Kaz slides the package open, knowing exactly what he’s going to find inside - a cigar cutter. For people who can afford Starling tobacco products, it definitely doesn’t befit to chew off the end.

Firelight cascades off the metal cutter when Kaz turns back towards Burr. The man’s eyes widen in panic, recognizing the sharp device put against him.

“No, sir,” Burr begs with a frantic shake of his head. “Oh, Saints, please, no! Don’t! I’m begging you, sir! Please, please! No, please!”

Brekker’s face doesn’t change its indifferent expression. The pleading is not putting him off, never faltering his already-made decision. Perhaps, if it isn’t too morbid to consider, he’s enjoying having someone at his mercy. The cigar cutter clicks quietly as Kaz closes it a few times to check the state of the mechanism.

Kaz makes his way back to the foreman. Casually, he puts his cane against the table but away from the nailed palm, careful not to get it dirty. Then, he snatches Burr’s other hand, the swiftness diminishing all doubts that he’s inexperienced in bringing suffering.

“You have laid your hands on something that isn’t yours, Lowther,” Brekker explains as he forces one of the man’s fingers through the cutter’s opening. “Now you must pay for it.”

A muscle in his face ticks as he presses the cigar cutter. Burr howls in agony, tears streaming down his face. The finger falls to the floor with a wet slap as blood begins to pour. The white tip of the bone sticks out from the pulsating flesh, glistening in the warm, dim light of the burning fireplace.

In a feverish delirium, Lowther mumbles something under his nose, the string of incomprehensible words sometimes interrupted by sobs. Kaz can understand only two things from the ramblings of a madman: ‘wench’ and ‘reply’. Scarce information but he hardly needs more.

“Wench?” he repeats in a low voice.

With a snap of his wrist, Kaz twists the knife still residing in the man’s hand. A bone cracks. But there’s no scream this time - not an ounce of strength left in the victim. Lonely tears stream down his grey face, mixing with cold sweat as he blankly stares ahead. A gloved hand yanks his head back by the hair, forcing delirious Burr to look into Brekker’s eyes. They look darker than they should, clouded with something far too horrible to be considered human.

“Not only did you lay your filthy hands on something of mine,” Kaz’s voice is low enough to resemble a growl as though something carnal inside him has finally woken from its slumber, “but you also dare insult her.”

Burr makes a strange guttural noise, something between a gag reflex and a murmur, as another one of his fingers is cut off. Considering his vacant expression, it’s hard to say whether his consciousness even registered the loss.

Kaz tosses away the cigar cutter. It clutters and clicks falling in the largely unknown corner of the room. Reaching inside his coat, he pulls out the folded stationery. Pressing tightly on Burr’s cheeks, he forces the man’s mouth open.

“I don’t think you will be needing this anymore.”

Even if foreman Lowther was in his right mind at the moment, there wouldn’t be much he could do to prevent Kaz from shoving the dry paper down his throat. A match, a spark, a smoulder - the ivory stationery is burning inside Burr’s mouth.

Leaving Burr Lowther to his own devices, Kaz Brekker leaves the house, joining the otherwise grey and indifferent citizens of Ketterdam. The sunrise is just a few hours away. He’s making his way back to the club, uninterrupted and unbothered, to enjoy another day of your hardly divided attention.

[thethiefandtheairbender]

Had a good chat with my partner about it today that maybe let me put a finger on what's always bugged me about "we're here to fix canon" attitudes being so prevalent in fandom (especially in the past 10ish years) throughout my life. This is not to say there's never a time or place for that (I've written fix its myself, or the occasional meta on how something could be fixed/improved) or that people are wrong to (we're anti fandom policing). It's also not an issue to me on the basis of "I love my blorbo in canon and fandom mischaracterizes them in the name of 'fixing' them" etc as it is just... coming from a fundamentally different perspective for story analysis / interaction than most (not all) people in fandom, I think.

One of the reasons I enjoyed getting my English degree was because I was finally being encouraged to and taught in alignment with what my brain had always be inclined to do: you always assume that there's a reason, and a good reason, for the story to do whatever it's doing. It assumes that the story is already exactly what it is supposed to be as it is supposed to be, and it's up to you to find the reasons Why.

The story was boring, or made you feel uncomfortable/bad, or you couldn't root for a character or relationship? All of that, at least at the beginning, doesn't really Matter. You assume that the story is paced fine, you assume the discomfort was intentional or part of something broader (historical shit that hasn't aged well) or that the dichotomy of "I feel invested or not invested" isn't useful. And in doing so, you replace all that with asking why.

An example I'll use is 1984 by George Orwell. I read that book in high school and I fucking hated it. Normally, I like the protagonist the most in anything I watch/read, but in that book, I loathed both the two leads and were actively rooting for them to be captured and tortured so the book could end faster; it was an actively miserable affair. I don't think that was necessarily the author's intention (certain amount of death of the author is baked in, but for a lot of the texts I was reading, we didn't even know the author or anything substantial about them, i.e. Beowulf) but, more importantly, I don't think any of those things are Flaws or downsides in the text.

Part of this is because 1984 is a dystopian novel (if a romcom book breaks genre convention that badly where you're miserable reading it, yeah, maybe something went wrong, but more on that in a minute) but even then it doesn't really matter on the basis of genre; I'm sure some people read 1984 and felt fascinated/excited while reading.

Rather, the focus becomes: what do I find so unlikeable about the protagonists? Why would they be written that way (on purpose)? What does it say about the society they live in? What does it say about their characterization, social stratification, etc etc? If a character does something that I think is non-sensical, why? Have I missed something? Should I watch retrospectively for clues? Is there another way to engage and to understand? Is what I label as confusion potentially a, or the, Point?

It is only after finding the reasons, and/or finding them unsuitable, that I let my subjective feelings into play. While a story can have great merit on the basis of relatability, relatability or "this aligns with my worldview / expectations / desires / etc." is not the be-all end-all of discerning quality

For example, I'm never going to be a fan of Jane and Rochester (she's 18, he's her 40 year old employer who routinely lies to her) but there are reasons, Good reasons, they get together in Jane Eyre (a book so subjectively boring I struggled through it twice) in response to both when the book was written and with the book's themes / symbols / their characterization. If they didn't end up together, it would be a fundamentally different story; it would not be Jane Eyre. So objectively, it's fine and an understandably massive influence on the western literary canon; subjectively, it's so fucking bad and I'm so glad I never have to read it again. But if I stopped there with my lack of interest or dislike of the main romance, I'd be missing out on what the text has to offer as well, the text.

This applies to more modern day stuff as well. I don't like Double Trouble from SheRa as nonbinary representation, and I'm nonbinary myself; however, I can acknowledge that the things I don't like about them were probably simultaneously empowering and exactly what the author (who is also nonbinary) wanted to be per his own experience of gender. Having a "I assume the text is right" mindset means that I can hold space for my own feelings/analysis (i.e. I also did not like Catra's arc, as I think she needed to learn other things / be written under a different lens) while holding space for the text as is (under the canonical lens of Catra learning it's never too late to be saved, I think her arc is conclusive and well done). And these two viewpoints aren't fundamentally opposed, but can coexist as analytical soup, being equally true / having equal value under the subjective (my view) and more 'objective' (the canon text's construction, or what I / the scholarly consensus, if it exists, believes it to be, anyway) at the same time.

Again, none of this is to say that you can't take issue with a canon text, or want to change something. I remember one time I was watching a show where their refusal to explore a romantic relationship between the female lead and her guy best friend was actively making the show worse; I understood their reasonings of wanting to put them with other people to explore their relationships, and wanting to emphasize a male-female friendship at the core of the story, and I still wanted them to put the two together as a Ship instead for various reasons. But that doesn't mean my line of thinking would've been Objectively Better—assuming if they had been paired together would've been executed in the manner I'd enjoy, or that them being paired with other people couldn't have been executed in ways I would've enjoyed more—merely that I likely would've enjoyed the series more per my own subjective preferences.

What I see in fandom sometimes is that people, understandably, aren't approaching at the start from a "the story always has a good reason" as much as they are speed-running from a "this didn't make sense to me or felt bad/off" and maybe examining why (which is supremely useful!) but not going back to examine the other side of the coin as to why the story would do it anyway.

Because sometimes the story—or a part of a story—is still 'bad' to us. It's just worthwhile to look at why it's 'good,' too.

[ddejavvu]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMjPBa9qJ/

Ok but this with Anakin!! It would totally work on him! I love that you’re writing for Anakin now you do it so well 🫶🫶

thank you!! you're so sweet <3 i think if i'm good at it it's because i've been in love with him since middle school maybe

--

You strike while his brain is foggy with sleep, perhaps cruel on your part to combine two sedatives. The natural one, the chemicals his brain slowly releases as the night winds down to lull him into a dozy state, and the pointed tips of your nails, paid for by the very man you inflict them upon.

You reach out and scratch at the base of Anakin's spine, sending a shiver up its length. He's turned away from you only because you're doing some late night reading, and the glow of your screen is too invasive for him to sleep through. He groans at the feeling of your fingernails raking up his spine as you slowly drag them up his back, scratching at the fabric of his heather gray t-shirt.

"Don't stop," He pleads, half-asleep and unfiltered. You indulge him, tracing sprawling spirals over the expanse of his broad, toned back. He seems to melt into the mattress below him, and when you're sure he's barely containing himself from becoming a puddle of goop, you whisper, "Ani?"

"Hm?" He replies, and his voice is just the perfect amount of sappy-mushy-sleepy-gushy; you know you'll get what you want.

"Will you make pancakes tomorrow?" You hum, "The really fancy ones, with the fruit-flavored batter?"

"Sure," He hums casually, like you'd merely asked him to blink. On the contrary, Anakin's rather complicated recipe for flavored pancakes, for special occasions only due to its strenuous nature, is something he normally grouches about.

"Thanks, baby." You scratch up towards the base of his neck with your nails, lingering for only a minute more before you let your hand slink back to the screen that's displaying your novel. You think you've won, you think he's drifted off to sleep without fully realizing the gravity of the situation, but all of a sudden he turns over to face you, eyes both squinted and drooping at the same time, a sight you never thought was possible, much less this endearing.

"Did you mind trick me?" He asks, his glare scrutinizing.

You try to fight off your triumphant grin, "What? What are you talking about?"

"You tricked me," He huffs incredulously, and you feign innocence.

"You're the Jedi, Ani." You try turning back to your book, but he's not having it.

"You did that thing with your nails," He reaches an arm out from under the blankets to snatch up your hand, pulling it to his face to inspect it. His eyes narrow as he stares at your fingertips, examining your nails, "Do these things give you a connection to the Force, or something? How'd you do that?"

You snap your nails at him, scratching playfully at his fingers and retracting your hand when he yelps, "Don't be ridiculous, Anakin."

"You conned me!" He insists, his grin bright now that some of his sleepiness has worn off, "This is ridiculous, you owe me at least twenty more minutes of back scratches if I'm making you pancakes in the morning."

Your initial instinct is to fight it, even though you'd love nothing more than to scratch your nails along his muscled back for hours on end. But you catch yourself, thinking about the pair of boots you'd seen while window shopping earlier, their price a bit too high for you to justify an impulse purchase.

"Alright, Ani." You agree, and you see his brow twitch at the eagerness in your tone, "Roll over, I'll scratch your back until you fall asleep."

"Okay..." He turns like you instruct him to, but he cranes his head to peer over his shoulder at you as you start up your nails against his back once more. His eyes are narrowed, and his hair is messy enough that it nearly covers one of them. He watches you, and you keep your eyes pointedly on your screen, avoiding his scrutiny. Finally he turns, and you wait until he's minutes away from sleep to strike.

"Ani?" You croon, nails dancing along his left side, "Will you buy me new boots?"

"Mhm," He hums groggily, nodding easily into his pillow, "Anything you want, angel."

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Which dorm arc do you think was the best written? I liked the ignihyde arc the most if I have to be honest

This might be unfair to the other books (since most of them have fewer parts/less time for their stories + book 7 isn't even complete yet for me to judge), but I think the writing in book 6 is the strongest (as in, "most interesting" and "most narratively sound") so far. What gives book 6 a massive leg up over other books is that the conflicts addressed in book 6 were foreshadowed WAY in advance through other content like voice lines, vignettes (I believe Ortho's Precision Gear), and events (like Wish Upon a Star). It was sooo satisfying to see all of the payoff (and Idia breaking down)!!

I don't think the other books are bad by any means except for book 2, sorry not sorry Leona, I just feel that 6 had a lot of space to touch on more characters and their development than only the Ignihyde boys; I loved catching up with characters we've already met and seeing how they've grown or changed, even in little ways. Additionally, I personally prefer stories with "high stakes" and family-oriented drama involved in them, so they biases me quite a bit toward book 6. The high stakes and family drama angle is also true of book 7, but again, it's not out in its entirety yet so I'm going to reserve my judgment until it has.

Something that's unique to book 7 (and that I wish previous books did, even if it elongates them significantly) is actually deepening our understanding of every character within the dorm. I would have been so bored if book 7 focused solely on Malleus. I loved getting to learn more about what makes Lilia tick, and seeing how Sebek and Silver develop from their experiences. I feel like I didn't get a significant enough of a look into many of the other boys during the main story campaign... Instead, we're often told about things that happened without truly witnessing it for ourselves. I know, I know, that's the whole point of a visual novel--expecting a lot of reading. I still would have preferred like... more flashbacks and scenes demonstrating what we're being told rather than the dialogue doing it for us. Show me how Riddle's relationship with Chenya and Trey has changed since their childhood! Show me young Jack being inspired by Leona's play and wanting to be in the same team as him! Etc., etc., etc. I could always look to vignettes and event stories for more lore on each character, but those are always portrayed as "AUs", whereas the main story is what is 'canon" so it's sort of sad to see that we never get to look any closer at most of the supporting cast upon that bigger stage.

It’s exciting that we now get to see more of the boys since we’re now dream hopping for book 7; I’m just going to hold my judgment for now since I found the pacing uneven and a little quick for what we’ve seen of Pomefiore so far, especially when compared to the longer Lilia dream segment. Again, I find book 6 stronger in this regard but that could be because its scale is slightly smaller and it has fewer characters to juggle. I guess we’ll have to wait and see how book 7 wraps up—maybe it’ll completely win me over!

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #52 – The Mercy of Gods by James S. A. Corey

Introduction

I have never technically read any of Corey’s work before, but I really loved all the seasons of the Expanse I’ve seen. So, as it would be months and months before I could actually get a copy from the library, this is the rare book I actually bought off the strength of the blurb. Even rarer, this actually worked out! This is genuinely quite good, meaty, even fairly original space opera!

On the world of Anjiin, a human civilization has developed from the ruins of some prehistoric colonization mission that ended in atomic fire, their origins a matter of theology and myth. Through blatant nepotism (his aunt is a very important administrator whose made his career her way of honoring her dead sister), Dafyd Alkhor is a research assistant on the most prestigious and celebrated lab/project on the planet – a successful attempt to bridge the gap between the native plant life of the planet and the earth-descended life humanity brought with it. But even as everyone’s enjoying their moment in the limelight, the project is in danger of being split up, the credit and prestige a juicy enough prize for the academic politics to get vicious. And then there’s Dafyd’s rather poorly hidden crush on Else, a much more senior scientist and also the Team Lead’s girlfriend. Everything begins to come to a head, and then-

Well, and then aliens invade. The Carryx and their servitor-species more-or-less effortlessly destroy every human attempt to resist, and then execute one eighth of the population where they stand. Like some massive, chitinous, latter-day Assyrian Empire, they then sort through and abduct a few hundreds or thousands of humanity’s administrative and intellectual elites. Hostages to bring to one of their world-palaces to live at their pleasure and prove their worth as subjects until a place in imperial society can be decided for them – with ‘mass grave’ being an entirely plausibly option if they fail to please. Dafyd, honestly a pretty shit scientist but a natural courtier and schemer, then finds himself desperately trying to understand the Carryx actually want from humanity, and why they refuse to communicate any of it.

Complicity and Collaboration

So this is overwhelmingly a novel about how to react to subjugation – of different emotional and trauma responses to seeing your loved ones killed to make a point, to seeing everything you know destroyed in the space of an afternoon, to being forced into an overcrowded ship and sent to a terrifying new world where your life is valued exactly in proportion to your captors' whims. As the novel reaches its climax, it becomes increasingly about the morality of fawning, servile collaboration and nobly suicidal resistance – of whether it’s better to live kneeling or die standing, essentially.

This is one of very few books I can ever remember reading that make a big dramatic point of that question, and then come down on the side of ‘live kneeling, bide your time until you’ve earned their trust and know enough to stab the knife somewhere vital’. Partially just because every other genre story in the world does stack the deck towards resistance (making victory an almost foregone conclusion if people just have the courage to fight) and this does in the opposite direction (‘resistance’ would be at best a few spectacular terrorist attacks before they’re all hunted down and executed, the first thing the rest of humanity would know of their noble fight is when the retaliatory genocide starts), but still.

I found the start of chapter epigraphs a greater flaw, honestly – they’re quotations from an imprisoned Carryx after some future fall of the empire, who lays the blame squarely on humanity. I’m sure this is building up to some lovely dramatic irony in future books (and is a fun window to Carryx state ideology), but the constant reassurance that the plan works and isn’t just a rationalization for surrender really does drain some of the moral stakes out of the question, you know? From a dilemma with genuinely unclear outcome to just a particularly cruel and slimy trolley problem. Which I mean, still juicy character drama! I did enjoy it.

As Space Opera

There are many works of SFF which are, frankly, setting bibles with an excuse of a story stapled on out of obligation. This isn’t one of them, but it is a book written by people who clearly enjoyed the worldbuilding for its own sake and were always looking for little excuses to show off a bit of it. This is probably clearest with Anjiin – from a plotting perspective, they could have sketched out the basics of the world in a paragraph, assuming they didn’t just use some vague future Earth or Mars instead. But Anjiin actually feels like a fully realized world with its own politics and hypocrisies, its own culture and theology, and (especially) its own beautiful and profoundly alien landscapes and architectures. The last thing makes the book’s job much harder, really – the sense of shock and alienation (as well as a guilty sort of curious wonder) at the Carryx world-palace is vital to the book, making the home the cast is stolen away from so strange and unfamiliar as well can only make it harder to evoke in the reader.

The book spends something like the first fifty pages on Anjiin before the Carryx arrive – before (almost) anyone have the slightest idea they exist – introducing the main cast and their dynamics, sketching out their daily lives, and grounding Anjiin a real, vibrant place that it’s possible to get properly attached to. Vitally, it’s not a world without conflict – Dafyd et al spend the entire time embroiled in high stakes academic intrigues and interpersonal dramas, of a kind that could easily sustain a book on their own. This was a big part of why the book worked so well for me, I think – the loss of Anjiin felt like a loss, the cutting off of possibilities I wanted to see play out, the execution of characters I enjoyed seeing on the page. Given how often these sorts of stories can (unintentionally or no) read ‘and then they were whisked from boring mundanity with dramatic fireworks accompanying them’, I’m glad the book spent the wordcount on it.

The Carryx needed to really overawe and impress, which I think the book mostly manages. Their society seems both plausible and viscerally alien. The book does a neat job of obscuring the exact border between their (weird and fascinating) biology and their obsessively eugenic imperial ideology, in a way that seems very fitting given that both the characters we spend any time with at all are middle/lower-middle ranking strategists and overseers in the imperial project.

This is very much an empire which starts with the iron fist and only bothers mentioning the existence of carrots after a new subject population is brutalized and terrified into full submission. Their ideology is a half-step short of pure power worship, and makes no excuses butchering and exterminating to make the world more convenient for them – none of them ever refer to other species as anything but ‘animals’. This isn’t an empire that tries to convert and persuade – but then, it’s not one that needs to.

The world-palace and assembled ranks of other species gathered in it does an excellent job of being genuinely awe-inspiring even for the characters who hate every solitary thing about it. One great advantage of written science fiction over more visual media is that there’s no real need to make your aliens humanoid or relatable-looking, and Corey takes full advantage of it to fill the prison camp with dozens of memorable, different species – absolute none of which could be played by an actor in makeup.

Of course, those aliens are mostly just set dressing – with the exception of one species of primates that humanity is placed into competition with that ends up in a mutually escalating and quite bloody vendetta – the only alien species represented by actual characters with names and points of view are the Carryx and the infiltration-swarm sent by their great enemy to get scooped up along with humanity and gather information about their inner workings. It does this by consuming and possessing one of the main cast, and the book has great fun keeping coy about who for half the book while still using it as a secondary Point of View. Even more than the Carryx, it does a good job of coming across as both genuinely alien (probably because it is an alien-ness in conversation with the humanity of the two hosts it has assimilated) while still being an incredibly compelling character.

Characterization

Dafyd has a habit/nervous tic of looking for people’s ‘pathological behavior’ – the habits and tendencies they default onto in situations of high stress or while they feel in danger or powerless. This is, then, the lens the book invites as far as its characters go. Every one one of them spends the vast majority of the book cycling from one trauma response to another, and each is probably mostly characterized by the way they respond and the things they fixate on as their world is destroyed and they reckon with their own powerlessness. Fixate on the research the Carryx want and at to try and pretend life is still recognizable, or get angrier and angrier and jump at the first chance to justify beating some other inmates to death to feel a bit of agency and control. Plot out a nobly suicidal strike back against your oppressors, or try desperately to understand what they want so you can manipulate them and ensure the survival of you and yours. Or just constantly make off-color and mostly unfunny jokes.

None of it is exactly subtle, but it all rings pretty true, and does a good job making (almost) every cast member compelling and memorable. It helps, I suppose, that we end up spending at least a chapter or two in the head of half the main human cast, and get plenty of careful observation or intimate conversation with the rest. I’m aware some people really despise this sort of POV-hopping in a story (especially when it’s mostly just different perspectives on the same broad events/circumstances) but personally I rather adore it when it’s done well and they each seem both plausible and distinct, which this book easily manages.

In Conversation with the Wider Genre

I am at this point a bit of of a connoisseur of the hyper-specific subgenre of ‘space opera/spec fic more generally deeply concerned imperialism, colonialism, the experience of subjugation, and the internal logics of complicity and collaboration’ – a shelf which its always great to add new works to. I don’t particularly think Mercy was written in direct response to or is actively commenting on any similar works, but it is fascinating to do a bit of a compare/contrast. Well, it is for me, anyway.

Compared to your Memory Called Empire’s and your Imperial Radch’s the most salient really thing is how uncomplicatedly awful the Carryx are. Not that the empires in those books ostensibly aren’t, but they’re simultaneously also cultured, elegant, rich – in a word, alluring. We spend as much or more time on the intricacies of Radachi tea ceremonies and soap operas as we do on their atrocities, and even that makes the messy brutality of imperialism far more foregrounded relative to the seductive beauty of salon poetry and monumental architecture than it is in Memory. Mercy, in contrast, mostly shows the awe-inspiring beauty of the Carryx world palaces through the windows of a prison-camp. It’s there – we even meet the subject-species who were enslaved instead of exterminated because they can architect such wonders – but only really incidentally. The glory of the Carryx is their vastness and their overwhelming might, all the elegance and beauty they have is the fruit of conquest – and more often than not, different subject-species are introduced with hints or notes of how much more they were, before they were crushed and carved into something the empire could use. (This is almost certainly related to the fact that the only point of view we get whose at all a native or wiling agent of the empire is very minor, and clearly a villain without much in the day of redeeming or morally interesting features).

The better comparison is really Exordia. Or maybe I’m only saying that because it’s the one I read this year, and thus the one whose interesting little complications are at least somewhat clear in my head. Better put, Mercy is exactly the story Clayton from Exordia thought he was in. In both the empire is both alien and undisguised in its malice (two things that are probably related, really), in both the empire doesn’t feel any need to understand or integrate humanity, when overwhelming superiority in technology, scale, and availability of coercive force allow it to just threaten and brutalize until it gets what it wants. The humans in Exordia are just both more and less lucky. Less, because their alien invaders are even more monomaniacally (indeed, metaphysically) malevolent to the point that even being their willing accomplice only buys hours to days of life. More, because they have an ancient relic of a plot device buried in the mountains to give a bit of cause for actual hope in violent resistance (and so a final act of the story concerned with an entirely different suite of messy trolley problems).

It’s an interesting addition to the subgenre anyway – I really can’t recall any other books that have a protagonist collaborating with the empire while not at any point being seduced by it. Well no, that’s a lie – Machinaries of Empire does hit the same beat, just in extraordinarily different ways.

Should Your Read This Book?

The answer is at least partially conditional on how the rest of the series turns out – the narrative absolutely requires sequels, and oh how they could retroactively absolutely ruin it. But with just the one book and a bit of optimism? If the premise seems even slightly intriguing, then absolutely.

[changbinsboobs]

Changbin as husband is next I'm curious for his and hyunjinss

This is the longest fucking reading I've ever had so i just HAD to split it in 2 parts so bear with me. I love him but i hate him right now😩 (no i don't)

Husband Series: Changbin pt. 1

Ugh...that guy🫠 i bet you if i let him use up my whole deck he would. The amount of "ok last card" i had to say...and yet there was still so much gushing put...and ugh, i just can't stress enough how much into details he is and how much he wants to stress on them and make sure they don't go unnoticed or get misunderstood or overlooked. Reminds me so much of my audhd friend😭. Anyways back on track - tho i don't even know where to begin from, i really think he used up half my deck. I just counted 23 cards😳 i do indeed draw a lot for the others too but thats just next level. Not on topic but i think he's a really chatty drunk😂 now i wanna read on them when drunk🙌🏻😂

Ok soooo since i have so many cards ill try to combine them as much as i can and keep the messages as concise as possible so this post doesn't become a novel - the overall energy i noticed here is not so much emphasis on him as a husband but overall him as a partner in a committed relationship. Which leads me to believe he himself doesn't view marriage with such dread as the others did (there wasn't really any dread with felix bust still a certain anxiety around responsibilities, meanwhile that with changbin is absolutely nonexistent). I would say he seems himself as capable and even ready to take on that responsibility and role if the opportunity presents itself and i think he believes he'll do a good job. He's responsible, capable and can take care of it. I actually sense a feeling of pride in him about that.

Another MAJOR theme is him being a "simp" for his partner (he insists on wife). There are many cards that im trying to sum up:

He's very protective over her and doesn't let anyone say shit about her, he's giving me guard dog vibes. Also a big bodyguardy. I can see him when being out with her eyeing people and being on alert and just idk, looking scary as to scare of any weirdos before they even think about trying something. And to clear any misunderstandings up, im really not getting this coming from jealousy (not that its not there, it is😂, but its just 10% reason, out of 100), but rather because he wants the woman he loves to feel safe and protected around him. He wants her to be able to relax and trust that he will always have her back and keep her safe. He wants her pretty little witty head not to be bothered by ANYTHING!

More from the simpy train - looks up to her a lot and kinda puts her a bit on a pedestal. This is not a very debilitating energy but feels rather like something he has made peace with and accepts - which is that she is indeed better than him and he can never be able to reach her, which means he is incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact a woman like that has chosen him and he tries whatever he can to live up to her standard and continue to give her reasons to stay with him and continue to love him. Although she can never love him as much as he does (thats his thought🥲). But as i said this doesn't feel victimy to me at all but rather just seems realistic to him and he's a big boy and can accept reality for what it is and choose to feel lucky instead of beating himself up for not being good enough and self sabotage. Im actually really shocked looking at his energy because i can really feel the strength of his mind and ughh just how innovative and flexible he is. His will is just astounding and making me really happy, despite him obviously having some issues he doesn't let himself be defined by it and chooses to spin them to him favor. What an amazing guy💗

Back to the reading - so he spends a lot of time in his head, doing A LOT of 2 things. One is being thinking of his girl and what he can do to make her happy, analyzing previous conversations to see if he missed something or if he has remembered everything. Contemplating if she maybe gave him a hint about something, or if she maybe looked hesitant with something. Maybe her body language was off? He notes that. If there was any difference in her behaviour today, if she looked different. He's really putting LOTS of energy thinking about her and analyzing her and her behaviour. Again this doesn't seem to come from distrust (although he thinks of that as well, its just not his motivator, he just considers everything, thats why) but rather for his own feeling of safety. I think he is a very thoughtful and analyzing and sensitive person in nature so this may be something he always does, except when its something very important to him, and a relationship at that - he does it even more intensely. He doesn't only think about and analyze her tho. He does that to him too, to their relationship as well. He just wants to have a good understanding and overview of everything that is happening in the relationship so he has a sense of control and safety. You can always fix something if you know its broken. Or beginning to bend. You can fix the problem before the branch brakes i think is what he wants to say. And he wants things to run as smoothly as possible with them, and once again he has taken on the responsibility to make his girls life as easy and carefree as possible and how can that happen if he leaves the whole relationship in her hands?! He can't, so he doesn't his part very diligently and tries to keep up on the same level as her, emotional-intelligence-wise.

He also doesn't to just thinking but planing & organizing. So i think he takes lots of care for other stuff too like planing and booking fun dates. If he cant attend then books fun stuff for her. Provide her with the needed tools/means for her to be able to create, to indulge in her hobbies. He really loves that feminine creator energy and really wants to do his best to encourage and provide an encouraging environment for his wife to get in her feminine creator energy and bring him joy with it. Also thats really random but he's always ready and loves giving her massages😂💗(after her long day of crafting). He just loves hearing about it, seeing the excitement in her voice and face. It charges him.

He also spends lots of time fantasizing about her. Reminiscing wonderful dates, imagining potential future ones, creating scenarios etc. He's just A LOT in his head, his mind is really really active, and its very occupied with his love. Also another random message, commitment and love are tied with him somehow. Im seeing he cant commit if he doesn't love but he also cant love if he can't commit. So i would say he's very extreme-y. Like he's either all in or all out. No middle ground. What i mean is he HAS to be this intense in a relationship because for him thats commitment, THATS expressing love. And if he's not able to do that, then his love and interest and enthusiasm begin to fade away. He HAS to be able to be like that in a relationship and i think often he has been labeled (or was) just WAYYY TOO MUCH for the girls he has been in a relationship with. Im seeing he can get very overwhelming and overbearing if the person he's with just isn't the person to enjoy that kind of commitment and effort. But to go back to the cards, he also fantasizes about physical stuff too, for example he's riding in the car, and for the whole ride he's imagining and giggling and wiggling his feet and twirling his hairs because he plays over and over how that one time while they were still just dating she looked him in the eyes with that wet sexy look, and how his whole body got shivers and his stomach dropped and his heart skipped and his palms got sweaty and he swears some saliva started dripping out the corner of his mouth and his knees got weak and he almost felt like he was gonna black out and by the time he came back to his senses she was already sooo close to his lips and them BAM. Fireworks everywhere. He can never forget how that wonderful kiss felt and how sweet the sexual tension and anticipation before it was. He plays stuff like that OVER AND OVER again the whole damn day.

While being on physical stuff, he is pretty horny ill say. But not in a bunny way,m where he wants to fuck 5 times a day, but rather when around his girl he's always half way up, always ready to rise for the occasion iykwim. I think he gets *excited*👀 very easily and is just really weak when it comes to his girl. He's always ready to deliver whenever she ask, whatever she asks. Als im seeing once again he's a giver (and despite him loving head so much) he's focused on her pleasure and he can off just from watching her enjoy...whatever it is. So yeah thats that😂

Bro im so tired im thinking about doing this in 2 parts😭 im just halfway. Ok yk what im splitting it.